jack_babalon | Career Day: "Another Dimension...Intergalactic Planetary" (Reply)

"So according to your resume Mr.Mosca, you have listed here...ummm 'Intergalactic defender of the planet Rann'...from 1998-2004?"
"Yes sir, that is correct."
"And how did you come across this position?"
"Oh. It began as a temp job, I was struck by a Zeta beam..."
"A what beam?"
"Zeta. It's an interplanetary teleportation beam. My best guess is that said beam breaks an individual down to his most rudimentary genetic code. It then transmits this code along what most quantum physicists are now calling superstrings. This beam rides the superstrings and reassembles the individuals genetic code across several trillion light years of space."
"I see. And you were given the posistion of 'Intergalactic Defender' upon arriving at the planet Rann?"
"Oh goodness no sir. I began in the mail room sorting out various frequencies being broadcasted from parallel universes. From there I was quickly moved up to jet-pack delivery boy. Then I was the deputy assistant manager jet-pack delivery boy..."
"I see..."
"Then I got a lucky break. The Astrobastard invasion of Rann began...."
"Go on."
"Welllll.. one minute I was dropping off a package along the Ptolemy Gardens of the Draco perimeter. The next thing I know I've got an orgone pistol and a sweet looking uniform on, blasting astrobastards left and right..."
"Uh-huh..."
"Well. From there I was promoted into Rann's Security department. From there it was only a few space beasts, fractal death swarms and a handful of enemy UFOs before I made "Intergalactic Defender".
"It sounds like a very lucrative position. Do you mind my asking why you left?"
"Not at all sir. In time the Zeta beam radiation wore off and I found myself back on Earth. I'm not sure of the exact science behind it sir, but i've been told my children might possibly become horrible radioactive monsters..."
"Yes.Yes. We all make sacrifices for the job Mr.Mosca. So tell me what are your strengths and weaknesses?"
"Hmmmm.Strengths: I'm good with a jet-pack and orgone pistol. I adapt well to any crisis. I have good people skills and, for that matter, good alien skills as well. I'm a self starter and a go getter..."
"And weaknesses?"
"Death rays. Mind blasts. Combat-Nanos... God I hate Combat-Nano's, it's like the flu, but only it eats your organs slowly."
"This is all fine Mr.Mosca, but what makes you think this qualifies you for a position that deals primarily with medical billing?"
"Sir, if I can do battle with a UFO that uses a combination of heat seeking missiles and a giant pendlum to wreck havoc on the city... well i'm sure i'm up for the challenge."