The Morning Corpse Bus

The MARTA buses, in order to generate more revenue to piss away on God only knows what, occasionally do double duty as mobile billboards. This basically means that the entire bus, including both the side windows and the doors, are covered in a thin sheen, a skin if you will, of advertising. Here we will see the 20 foot wide face of some TV celebrity grin idiotically out at the rush hour traffic like the icon of some long lost retarded god of a panthenon to dull to worship. A bird of prey basketball mascot that spreads its wings across the breadth of a Yellow Cab and threatens to snatch it up in it's talons! Then there's my personal favorite: A giant BIG MAC floating down the Ponce De Leon route, sailing along the river of yellow Hummers and beige SUVs, while rising out of the shores of McMansion townhomes, a forest of fast food and gas station banners. A truer vision of 21st century America cannot be imagined. This, I imagine, must be the freedom 'They' hate us for!

But todays bus was different.

Todays bus was sprayed with fleshless corpses!

A series of oversized bodies, each shaved of it's skin, revealing raw pink and meat red muscles that seemed to flow across the passenger windows. On the side of the bus the strenum of one cadaver splits open suddenly and a passenger steps out slowly, like Jonah emerging from a whale and brushes past me like I wasn't there. A skull face stares out at me with lidless eyes next to the boarding door. It takes me a moment to figure out that this is for the Bodies Exhibit that's going on. The bus driver mumbles something at me to get on or back off. I glance again at the strands of ligament and tendon weaving around the frame of the #2 and so, with great trepidation, I board.

The windows light up the bone, muscle and death that cover them giving the interior of the cab a dull reddish glow. There are three TV monitors mounted in the bus, usually beaming out news feeds and commercials, now reduced to static. Someone, either the old man constantly rubbing his scalp or the screaming baby behind me, has shit themselves. Meanwhile the bus lurches down slowly, Grannie Evil keeps pulling the bell to stop and when the bus stops says
"Oh no this isn't my stop. I can't see anything out these damn...." She searches for a word and settles on the titular 'Bodies'. This process happens three or four times.

And I think to myself: So this is what it all comes down to huh? Riding the Corpse Bus up Ponce with Grannie Evil, Grandpa Shit-Himself and Shriek-Baby the human car alarm behind me.
I realize that i've somehow won myself a season pass on the Shit-Slide to hell and that the next stop is North Avenue Station.

Still, who thought it was a good idea to decorate a bus with leisure zombies?


Shit i'm gonna miss my train!

Irrevelations

Also it causes all, both small and great, both rich and poor, both free and slave, to be marked on the right hand or the forehead, so that no one can buy or sell who does not have the mark, that is, the name of the beast or the number of his name. This calls for wisdom: let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the beast, for it is a human number. Its number is six threescore six
~Revelation 13:16-18

So here it is: 06/06/06: The Pre-Game show for the Rapture! "Take a Satanist to lunch day"! The beginning of the end times! The countdown to Armageddon! The Last Judgement Call for the self rightous... "Alright all you Jews, Buddhists and heretics! You don't have to go to Hell but you can't stay here!". It's even Cock Rock Day in over 23 different countries!

And... it's all a bit of let down really isn't it? I mean so far no armies of the living dead are walking the earth! The Wormwood star hasn't burned in the sky. No rough beasts slouching out of Bethleham (and that rough beast shouldn't slouch - it's bad posture). The Anti Christ hasn't stepped up for a much needed papal smack down! I still don't have an iPod embedded in my skull or a barcode tattooed across my forehead. There aren't even Mobile Christian Decapitation Squads roaming the streets like Jack Chick promised...


"*gasp* That will teach me to buy porn without the Mark of the Beast on my head!"
...really i'm terribly disappointed with Satan right now.

Hey I don't want to hear it! I did all the things they said would lead to the rise of the Adversary and his reign here on Earth:

I watched Will & Grace!
I had premarital sex... with a condom on even!
I believed in evolution.
I didn't threaten damnation to anyone who didn't agree with me!
I ate Pork!(wasn't sure if that was just a Jewish thing... but y'know just in case)
I worshipped the false God Santa Clause as a child!
I slept in on Sundays!
I've never voted Republican!
I even bought all the Iron Maiden albums!


Eddie -The Heathen God of Metal Heads as well as D&D playing preteens everywhere!

So what's the deal?
The sun is shining outside. The jaws of hell aren't yawning open over San Francisco and New York City. The Christians aren't being teleported away ("Beam me up Jesus ... the secularist humanists are at it again!"). No seven headed monsters are rising out of the waters riden by the golden whore of Babalon. Just a lousy remake of the Omen and that's it?!?!

Well that's it!

I'm converting as of today. I'm converting to a Doomsday deity that will actually get the job done! Somebody like...oh I don't know....

Cthulhu seen here just straight chillin' with his Eldritch posse!