Two Tigers, a cage and a copy of the Inferno

"I've never metaphor I didn't like..."
~Skinhead Dave


Last night I found myself locked in a cage with two Alpha Tigers on the Rag. Between them was a well thumbed copy of Dante's Inferno. My job is to get the two tigers to agree on a translation of the epic poem and none of us are allowed out of the cage until we do.

When I arrive the tigers are already circling each other around the perimeter of the cage, sniffing the air for the first sign of weakness and trying to bait the other into making the first move. Since both love the sound of their own roar they're constantly interupting one another to growl or hiss their points out. They're both hungry for something but not sure what it is and it makes them even more irritable with each other.

Ain't nothing worse in this world than feeling an itch but not knowing where to scratch.

In the middle of the cage I sit between them. The heat of their breath scorches my face, but it doesn't matter. I've been testing cantos, Virgil and circles of Hell and now I think i've found a skeleton key that will get us out of the cage. They barely notice me, even when I stand up between them both and tell them that I think i've found a way out!

"Maybe" the first Tiger grumbles doubtfully "But I don't like how it gets us out! Is 'out' even where we want to go with this? Is there an 'out' without an 'in'?"

"Fool!" the second Tiger snaps at the first "Why don't you hear him out. Let the little human talk and maybe we can decide from there whether that's the way out or not."

"Well..." I begin "I think we can..."

"I'm not done!" The second tiger cuts me off with a roar and returns to the first tiger "If you'd only shut up long enough to let the human talk instead of going on and on about what you don't like about the way out..."

"I don't have a problem with the way out" the first tiger counters "It's where it leads us to that I have a problem with."

"Well where would you rather it go?"

"Out but not out."

"That makes no sense" the second mumbles

"It will when we get there if there is a there?"

"But where? If you don't have a better place to go then you have no right to find fault with the place we're going..."

"I decide on where we're going by deciding where we're not going!" The first tiger declares majesticly.

"And where is that?" I manage to ask the first before the second gets mad at me for interupting when he's not talking.

"We're going to get out of here by not getting out of here by the way you've mentioned..."

"That's a negative definition...." The second tiger starts up. They resume circling each other repeating the same arguements back and forth. They've forgotten i'm there again, so I sit down in the middle of the cage, pick the Inferno back up and try to find another key to get us out of here.

A swig of memory, a drink on me

The muse was puking in the toliet again.

All I could do was sit there next to her, scooping up the flow of her red hair with hands open as if in prayer. She grips the sides of the bowl to keep it from escaping and between bursts of blue yawns asks me if I still love her.

She likes her mixed drinks strong and the color of cotton candy. She likes the amnesia courage of it. She likes how one drink invites another. She likes the way an old story of hers sounds suddenly new. She likes the radio up loud and the way a song can get in her bones until she's dancing around nude. She likes the way an open window frames her sway and the feel of the glass up against her nipples. She likes a cigarette when she's flesh dizzy and she likes to kiss the cheek she just slapped. She likes the way the rum works the light into my face when my face works into her lap.

"Of course I do." I tell her but she's already forgotten what she's asked.