Old Spice of Life

Shout out to mlfoley for hipping me to this: Bruce Campbell doing a cover of Duran Duran's Hungry like the Wolf.

By the by, Old Spice was just one of my many 'Pimp Names' when I got out of the Navy. Ahhh to be a young man working the piers again, setting up lonely longshoreman and drunken Squids with a brevy of transgendered punk rock Geishas. I remember paydays when my 'Ladies' would see me coming down the docks in my beaten up peacoat and eyes shadowed by a Greek sailors cap pulled down low. The click-click-clack of running high heels as they'd come up on me cooing 'Heyyyyy Old Spice...', peppering my cheeks with kisses while pressing blood stained ten dollar bills into my hungry fist of love. Those were some good times and everyday was like living in a Nick Cave song.

Then came the Transgender Punk Geisha Crash of '01 when the market dried up and there was nothing for me to do but go legit. I got a job working the door at a Terminus City Fetish Club. I was paid in cheap beer and cheaper aftershave. The 'ladies' did alright though. Stilleto Sally went back to college, Baby Boi cleaned up and is now a congressmans wife, Dharmaneisha plays stand up bass in a Stray Cats cover band ('The Struts') and Betty Rumble still stays in touch - occasionally i'll get a postcard with burnt edges from 'Interzone' with her distinctive scrawl telling me about some freelance 'wetwork' she's doing for an undisclosed American Umbrella Corporation.

Still it's nice that they stay in touch.

Farewell Falwell: Looking back on the Mullah of the American Taliban

"Hey Jack Babalon, one of America's leading Judeao-Christian Facists has just died... what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to Gay Disney!!!"

You know I cannot think of a single person who has done more to question my belief in our fundamental right to Freedom of Speech than this man. I normally endeavor not to speak ill of the recently deceased, so instead i'll allow you to reflect on some of these choice quotes and let you decide what kind of man he was and what kind of world he worked so diligently towards:

"Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them."

“(re: 9/11 attacks) "...throwing God out of the public square, out of the schools, the abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked and when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad...I really believe that the pagans and the abortionists and the feminists and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way, all of them who try to secularize America...I point the thing in their face and say you helped this happen."*

"Textbooks are Soviet propaganda"

"Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions”

*-So by that logic I guess that means the hijackers of those planes on September 11th were really doing the will of the Lord Jesus Christ to punish us heathen secularists and our tolerance of alternative lifestyles. Oddly enough not one single politican ever stood up to ask 'so you're saying you want the terrorists to win?'

Hey there all you X-tian Zombie Vampires....

...don't be down. Sure you've lost a mighty firebrand of biblical self rightous fury, but you're still not alone. There's always the gospel of the amazing Reverend X (no relation to the Professor). First let's start with a 'Healing Dance'...

Now let's hear some testifying...

Dragon*Confidental: Punx vs Klingons

"One side Trekkie... Big Sven wants to show the fangirls his mighty mjolnir!!"

Jimmy did Dragon*Con the way Hunter did Vegas. He would roll in to the registration area, skip the line, wave over someone who owed him a favor or would be needing one soon enough. Within moments he had a Badge on the house with no questions asked. We'd hang out for a bit having a laugh at it all. I knew that he could give a fuck less really about getting R2-D2's autograph, meeting Mark Waid or buying third gen bootlegged copies of 'The Wookies Christmas'. He had his own agenda. The top of which was catching the ubiqitous GWAR show that used to play every Con. He was a fan from way back in the day and so far had never missed a chance to catch them here in Terminus City. Second of all the Con is ( as i've postulated before in these blogs), the unoffical Fanboy Mardi Gras. This meant drunk Jedis mingling with promiscuous Sith-sters. It meant horny Starfleet cadets doing a bit of shore leave here on Planet Earth. It meant coked up RPGers running on hour 26 in a non-stop Dungeon Party and coked up Dom's running on hour 26 in a very, very different kind of Dungeon Party. It meant, in short, big money to a man of Jimmy's profession. Finally, like the rest of us, it was a chance to hang out with your friends and have a little fun. ( Read more... )