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Reel Life: Rambo Math
Oct. 28th, 2008 01:20 pmSo for some ungodly reason I found myself recently watching the latest Rambo movie (episode IV: A New Hope).
This was basically a Red-State porn flick for people with a .50 caliber machine gun fetish and an unwavering believe that the United States can win Vietnam retroactively. In the latest chapter of the Stallone franchise, we find America's favorite Buddhist (no shit folks, John Rambo is a Buddhist... one who apparently follows the esoteric teachings of Uncle Samuvavara - Buddhist saint of explosive arrows and headbands) living the quiet life of a humble fisherman in sunny Burma (living on a steady diet of fish, rice, botox and weight-gain protein shakes) until a series of convoluted circumstances and kidnapped missionaries require him to murder roughly a few hundred people or so.
I was a little disappointed though in this sequel (and not for all the obvious reasons). See I figured that since the film before this one had the Stallone-Bo teaming up with the freedom loving Mujahedeen against the crumbling forces of the Soviet Union down in Afghanistan (you guys remember Afghanistan don't you?) that maybe this film would have him going back to Kabul and be like "...'Ey Yo, I didn't know when I was trainin' you guys to kill commies that you'd turn around and bite America in the ass some fifteen years later!". Oh John Rambo did they not teach you about 'Blowback' in Special Op's class? Ah, don't sweat your little headband over it... they never taught the CIA that paticular concept either when they were down there in the Go-Go Reagan 80's.
Anyway posted below is a little 'Rambo Math'... in case you wanted to divine the secret Gematria of Stallone's 26 year shooting spree across the psychic landscape of the American Dream (note - a sixpack and a copy of Crowley's 777 will come in handy). Interesting fun fact - the combined number of sex scenes in all four movies: Zero. Combined homocides: 438. Which says a lot about American Values in and of itself.
( Rambo Math! )
This was basically a Red-State porn flick for people with a .50 caliber machine gun fetish and an unwavering believe that the United States can win Vietnam retroactively. In the latest chapter of the Stallone franchise, we find America's favorite Buddhist (no shit folks, John Rambo is a Buddhist... one who apparently follows the esoteric teachings of Uncle Samuvavara - Buddhist saint of explosive arrows and headbands) living the quiet life of a humble fisherman in sunny Burma (living on a steady diet of fish, rice, botox and weight-gain protein shakes) until a series of convoluted circumstances and kidnapped missionaries require him to murder roughly a few hundred people or so.
I was a little disappointed though in this sequel (and not for all the obvious reasons). See I figured that since the film before this one had the Stallone-Bo teaming up with the freedom loving Mujahedeen against the crumbling forces of the Soviet Union down in Afghanistan (you guys remember Afghanistan don't you?) that maybe this film would have him going back to Kabul and be like "...'Ey Yo, I didn't know when I was trainin' you guys to kill commies that you'd turn around and bite America in the ass some fifteen years later!". Oh John Rambo did they not teach you about 'Blowback' in Special Op's class? Ah, don't sweat your little headband over it... they never taught the CIA that paticular concept either when they were down there in the Go-Go Reagan 80's.
Anyway posted below is a little 'Rambo Math'... in case you wanted to divine the secret Gematria of Stallone's 26 year shooting spree across the psychic landscape of the American Dream (note - a sixpack and a copy of Crowley's 777 will come in handy). Interesting fun fact - the combined number of sex scenes in all four movies: Zero. Combined homocides: 438. Which says a lot about American Values in and of itself.
( Rambo Math! )