if... Images of yesterday's Future

Leading scientists speculate that in the future... bored preteens will use recreational time travel to summon hobos from the distant past for their entertainment. These once proud nomadic people, having long been rendered extinct since the Cannibal Wars of the Second Great Depression, now find themselves celebrated novelties in this distant Golden Age of bottled cities and firm fitting unitards. However it is not long before the children grow bored with the rambling tales of elusive Candy Mountains and summon a velociraptor from the Cretaceous Period to battle the justifiably startled hobo.

"Look! When I put on this fake beard a little man in a helmet appears over my shoulder. Don't you kids see 'em? C'mon, he's waving right at us..."

"OMG! Teh awld dudez got teh DTz agyn!"

"We can has him fitez dinozaur now? LOL!"



The meek shall indeed inherent the earth... only to discover in 2043 that their reliance on telepathic steriods to do so would have devastating consequences on the reproductive system of late 21st century males. This was only but one factor in the coming Interplanetary Transamazonian Empire of the 23rd century.



Tired of having to do all that heavy thinking on your own? Don't you wish you could just turn your brain 'off' and let someone else do the 'driving' for a change?

Well take comfort Atomic-Citizens of Tomorrow! Modern advances in the field of IntraCranial Rodent Transplant Surgery will allow doctors to liberate you from the burden of Excessive Thought Syndrome. Why, it's simple really. First the skull is hollowed out and cleaned of all those pesky trouble spots. Then engineers build a miniature cockpit inside your head. Next a genetically enhanced super-mouse is inserted into his new home... there ya, go little fella. Finally the doctors seal everything back up and voila! Now you can let old 'squeaky' here worry about having to tie your shoes or get up off the couch to use the bathroom.