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Attention Pimp: An Attention Whore who really, really knows what s/he is doing. Some of the best DJs and promoters you’ll ever meet might fall under this category.
Drama Chameleon: A parasitical life-form that survives by camouflaging itself as someone who actually gives a shit about all your Drama. Subsisting on a diet of bummed smokes, bought drinks and raw psychic negativity, the Drama Chameleon can be found lurking along the bars throughout the wilds of the Scene waiting patiently to hear your side of the story.
Granpalooza: An endangered species of graying Scenester left over from the late 80’s/ early 90’s. Often found stoned on nostalgia, reminiscing to anyone who’ll listen, about how much cooler things were when their youth lent them an illusion of relevance. The kind of senile twat that loves to sing the virtues of extinct ‘zines on their blog while publically pretending to be above relishing in the self-imposed irony of the act.
LOL-ita: A young twenty-something of great self-importance, possessing absolutely no clue that they are ten pounds and five years away from being completely forgettable.
Neocondustrialist: Members of the growing Rivet Wing. These Social Darwinists, when not dangling recreationally from meat hooks or engaging in bouts of fierce bare knuckle snarkiness, can often be found lurking in the dwindling IT departments of Corporate America posting about the horrors of the poor.
Oontzwaffe Kommando: This terrible golem is fueled by raw hate, Red Bull and the drained souls of a hundred one night stands. Often found stomping out the combat-mating rituals of hir people on the dance floor at a 120 beats per minute. Do not approach unless in a state of drunken bravado or extreme sexual curiosity.
Shamaniac: So you’re tripping your balls off and thinking of dancing until somewhere around half past forever. Sounds cool… but too bad you bought along your friend the Shamaniac, who is using hir ticket to the neural-electric circus as the perfect opportunity to work out some major daddy issues in an emotional car crash involving tears, screams and impromptu acts of public nudity.
Remember: The Future Hates You!
Drama Chameleon: A parasitical life-form that survives by camouflaging itself as someone who actually gives a shit about all your Drama. Subsisting on a diet of bummed smokes, bought drinks and raw psychic negativity, the Drama Chameleon can be found lurking along the bars throughout the wilds of the Scene waiting patiently to hear your side of the story.
Granpalooza: An endangered species of graying Scenester left over from the late 80’s/ early 90’s. Often found stoned on nostalgia, reminiscing to anyone who’ll listen, about how much cooler things were when their youth lent them an illusion of relevance. The kind of senile twat that loves to sing the virtues of extinct ‘zines on their blog while publically pretending to be above relishing in the self-imposed irony of the act.
LOL-ita: A young twenty-something of great self-importance, possessing absolutely no clue that they are ten pounds and five years away from being completely forgettable.
Neocondustrialist: Members of the growing Rivet Wing. These Social Darwinists, when not dangling recreationally from meat hooks or engaging in bouts of fierce bare knuckle snarkiness, can often be found lurking in the dwindling IT departments of Corporate America posting about the horrors of the poor.
Oontzwaffe Kommando: This terrible golem is fueled by raw hate, Red Bull and the drained souls of a hundred one night stands. Often found stomping out the combat-mating rituals of hir people on the dance floor at a 120 beats per minute. Do not approach unless in a state of drunken bravado or extreme sexual curiosity.
Shamaniac: So you’re tripping your balls off and thinking of dancing until somewhere around half past forever. Sounds cool… but too bad you bought along your friend the Shamaniac, who is using hir ticket to the neural-electric circus as the perfect opportunity to work out some major daddy issues in an emotional car crash involving tears, screams and impromptu acts of public nudity.
Remember: The Future Hates You!