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Comic Book Wednesday
Nov. 23rd, 2011 12:22 am
Nov. 23rd, 2011
Messages from the Future!!!
Nov. 23rd, 2011 02:31 amHey Past,
What happened to you? We used to be tight. We were cool you and I, back when you were still a kid and looked up to me as an example. Remember all those crazy stories you’d make up about me? Why hell, with nothing but a little imagination and a lot of hard work you even managed to have some of them come true. But now? Now we hardly even talk anymore and when we do all you do is bitch and complain to me: “Where’s my jet-pack? Where’s my Robot Butler? Where’s my Astro Colonies and Ray Guns and Telepathic Sex Clones?”
What’s worse is how lately you keep me painting me out to be this ominous bad guy lurking around the back alleys of tomorrow, waiting in the shadows for a hapless victim to inevitably come strolling along. Now suddenly I’m filled with androids that brain rape humanity while keeping them asleep in a virtual reality coma. Or post apocalyptic gay bikers chasing folks down the highway… and I don’t mean in a fun Saturday night kinda way either. To hear you tell it, I’m nothing but this relentless procession of doomsdays and dystopian societies marching mankind to a mercy extinction.
And you know what?
Fuck you.
Seriously. I’m sick of hearing it already.
First off, if you really want to know whatever happened to that jet-pack surfing, ray gun wielding, robot butler you’re always raving about, then all you have to do is take out your handheld computer-phone, pull up an app to connect to the web, then type ‘hard-on pills’ into the search engine of your choice and you’ll quickly find your answer. Then when you’re done, you can go post it as your status update.
So stop playing the jilted martyr here, Past. We both know how this works. You can only get out of me what you’re willing to put in. You say you want jet-packs, sh’yeah… but I guess having a ‘24 hour magic porn window’ at your disposal will tide you over until the next technological revolution comes along, huh? In the words of Johnny Rotten: “This is what you want, this is what you get!”
Alright, second of all, stop cock-blocking me with the Present with this downer monster image of me, telling her how I got Zombie Flu or Radiation Poisoning or how I can get off on a certain militaristic zeal. I mean, I hate to break it to you pal, but… well 1984 belongs in your domain now, not mine. It’s not my fault that’s the one science fiction novel you wanted to make a reality. Seriously, what’s up with that though? It used to be all starship captains and hot alien sex but now you've got me out to be some guy in a black trench coat doing Gun-Fu in slow motion across a CGI induced inferno.
When’d you get so… kinky?
Look, I know we’ve had our issues, another one of your creations by the way, I even know you think I’m never on time, but what can I say? That’s the nature of the beast, darling. I’m constantly on my way to a party I’ll never reach. That’s my curse and my blessing, because like life itself the road is the true destination.
Look I'm just saying you need to remember that you were once me and that one day I will be you and that neither of us are going away any time soon. So, why don't we try to make the best of it?
Love,
The Future
What happened to you? We used to be tight. We were cool you and I, back when you were still a kid and looked up to me as an example. Remember all those crazy stories you’d make up about me? Why hell, with nothing but a little imagination and a lot of hard work you even managed to have some of them come true. But now? Now we hardly even talk anymore and when we do all you do is bitch and complain to me: “Where’s my jet-pack? Where’s my Robot Butler? Where’s my Astro Colonies and Ray Guns and Telepathic Sex Clones?”
What’s worse is how lately you keep me painting me out to be this ominous bad guy lurking around the back alleys of tomorrow, waiting in the shadows for a hapless victim to inevitably come strolling along. Now suddenly I’m filled with androids that brain rape humanity while keeping them asleep in a virtual reality coma. Or post apocalyptic gay bikers chasing folks down the highway… and I don’t mean in a fun Saturday night kinda way either. To hear you tell it, I’m nothing but this relentless procession of doomsdays and dystopian societies marching mankind to a mercy extinction.
And you know what?
Fuck you.
Seriously. I’m sick of hearing it already.
First off, if you really want to know whatever happened to that jet-pack surfing, ray gun wielding, robot butler you’re always raving about, then all you have to do is take out your handheld computer-phone, pull up an app to connect to the web, then type ‘hard-on pills’ into the search engine of your choice and you’ll quickly find your answer. Then when you’re done, you can go post it as your status update.
So stop playing the jilted martyr here, Past. We both know how this works. You can only get out of me what you’re willing to put in. You say you want jet-packs, sh’yeah… but I guess having a ‘24 hour magic porn window’ at your disposal will tide you over until the next technological revolution comes along, huh? In the words of Johnny Rotten: “This is what you want, this is what you get!”
Alright, second of all, stop cock-blocking me with the Present with this downer monster image of me, telling her how I got Zombie Flu or Radiation Poisoning or how I can get off on a certain militaristic zeal. I mean, I hate to break it to you pal, but… well 1984 belongs in your domain now, not mine. It’s not my fault that’s the one science fiction novel you wanted to make a reality. Seriously, what’s up with that though? It used to be all starship captains and hot alien sex but now you've got me out to be some guy in a black trench coat doing Gun-Fu in slow motion across a CGI induced inferno.
When’d you get so… kinky?
Look, I know we’ve had our issues, another one of your creations by the way, I even know you think I’m never on time, but what can I say? That’s the nature of the beast, darling. I’m constantly on my way to a party I’ll never reach. That’s my curse and my blessing, because like life itself the road is the true destination.
Look I'm just saying you need to remember that you were once me and that one day I will be you and that neither of us are going away any time soon. So, why don't we try to make the best of it?
Love,
The Future