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The Quick & the Undead!
Oct. 19th, 2012 01:55 amMagpie's clocking 70 down Moreland, rocket-racing a rental car to get us to the Atlanta Zombie Apocalypse stat. I'm riding shotgun and packed in the back seat are four scared shitless teenagers looking fresh out of a glee club meet. Magpie's got the new Gorillaz cranked. A blast of sweet cool October air through the rooftop window. We don't slow for no yellow light, no speed limit, no traffic crawl... not even the screaming pleas of the Glee Club Four white knuckling each other's hands. The only stop we make between Black Metal Cafe and AZA is to hit the liquor store.
SITREP: Magpie came by and kidnapped me from a listless day for a drink or two at the Yacht. While there I was convinced to join him along with the Drac Pack to hit the AZA. The Drac Pack managed to hook up with a bunch of free passes thanks to Zada and Professor Morte. We meet up at the BMC where next door Hank Rollins is doing a little spoken, though probably shouted, word. Another drink. A quick piss. A cigarette. Then we muster out back in the parking lot. Tagging along with the Drac Pack is a group of young high school kids who are a part of some theater internship program or something. Magpie gets hustled into giving some of them a ride as we convoy up. We warn some of the kids that there might not be a ride back with grins and super-villain cackles.
Two trucks are barreling down US 23, side by side, Blue Angeling the whole way. Magpie sees an opening between the two and takes it with a stomp of the gas. The kids are too breathless to scream, we're too drunk to care. Between the two trucks we slice as smooth as a knife through butter. A few minutes later and we roll into the AZA parking lot where the kids spill out to kiss the ground. Another few quick pulls from the liquor store bottle. A quick smoke before we go in. There's zero line this being a school night and we take our time forming into ten person dungeon parties. AZA is broken into two attractions. The first is called Z War and the other is Curse of the Undead. We decide to go Z War first.
Holy fuck was it awesome! AZA isn't so much a traditional haunted house as it is a full tilt interactive zombie theater experience. We 'survivors' were given a paramilitary escort through a George Romero on Acid vision of the Fall of Rome. Lurid shanty towns filled with sinister rejects from a Mad Max flick. Mad science autopsies on growling corpses. Fucking zeds jumping, crawling, reaching, stumbling, dropping out of nowhere as you navigate through a labyrinth of darkened rooms. I was pumped the whole time. Riding with squeals and laughs one serious adrenalin rush. There are two kinds of people in the zombie apocalypse - the quick and the undead. And baby, I was quick. I was a black hoodie ninja with the brains to make sure he always stuck by the guy with the gun.
Who has two thumbs and survived the Z War? You know it, baby!
After that was Curse of the Undead. But not until we took a few more pulls off the bottle. Grabbed another smoke to settle our trembling nerves. Hit the port-a-johns. Swapped survivor stories and braced ourselves for round two. This one began in a police sub-station and went from weird to freaky in under a minute. We evacuated the sub-station quick. Got surrounded. Barely escaped. Then we made our way into the woods where shit got really scary...
... and because you might go that's all I can really say.
Later I waited as Magpie stepped into a real-life video game to go zombie hunting with paint balls. I had to collect my wits and wait for my heart to stop pounding. We convoyed back up. This time we rode back sans the glee clubbers. There we headed back to BMC to regroup and reload on our buzz. A few of us went out to see Big Hank before he left in hopes of nabbing his autograph. A few of us stayed behind and swapped more zombie stories. I stuck around for another drink before heading back here along with Magpie (currently crashed out on the couch reading some of my comic books).
Alright. I got my 'write' itch scratched so I'm gonna log off here. A great night. A really, really great night. The first in a long time, let me tell you.
SITREP: Magpie came by and kidnapped me from a listless day for a drink or two at the Yacht. While there I was convinced to join him along with the Drac Pack to hit the AZA. The Drac Pack managed to hook up with a bunch of free passes thanks to Zada and Professor Morte. We meet up at the BMC where next door Hank Rollins is doing a little spoken, though probably shouted, word. Another drink. A quick piss. A cigarette. Then we muster out back in the parking lot. Tagging along with the Drac Pack is a group of young high school kids who are a part of some theater internship program or something. Magpie gets hustled into giving some of them a ride as we convoy up. We warn some of the kids that there might not be a ride back with grins and super-villain cackles.
Two trucks are barreling down US 23, side by side, Blue Angeling the whole way. Magpie sees an opening between the two and takes it with a stomp of the gas. The kids are too breathless to scream, we're too drunk to care. Between the two trucks we slice as smooth as a knife through butter. A few minutes later and we roll into the AZA parking lot where the kids spill out to kiss the ground. Another few quick pulls from the liquor store bottle. A quick smoke before we go in. There's zero line this being a school night and we take our time forming into ten person dungeon parties. AZA is broken into two attractions. The first is called Z War and the other is Curse of the Undead. We decide to go Z War first.
Holy fuck was it awesome! AZA isn't so much a traditional haunted house as it is a full tilt interactive zombie theater experience. We 'survivors' were given a paramilitary escort through a George Romero on Acid vision of the Fall of Rome. Lurid shanty towns filled with sinister rejects from a Mad Max flick. Mad science autopsies on growling corpses. Fucking zeds jumping, crawling, reaching, stumbling, dropping out of nowhere as you navigate through a labyrinth of darkened rooms. I was pumped the whole time. Riding with squeals and laughs one serious adrenalin rush. There are two kinds of people in the zombie apocalypse - the quick and the undead. And baby, I was quick. I was a black hoodie ninja with the brains to make sure he always stuck by the guy with the gun.
Who has two thumbs and survived the Z War? You know it, baby!
After that was Curse of the Undead. But not until we took a few more pulls off the bottle. Grabbed another smoke to settle our trembling nerves. Hit the port-a-johns. Swapped survivor stories and braced ourselves for round two. This one began in a police sub-station and went from weird to freaky in under a minute. We evacuated the sub-station quick. Got surrounded. Barely escaped. Then we made our way into the woods where shit got really scary...
... and because you might go that's all I can really say.
Later I waited as Magpie stepped into a real-life video game to go zombie hunting with paint balls. I had to collect my wits and wait for my heart to stop pounding. We convoyed back up. This time we rode back sans the glee clubbers. There we headed back to BMC to regroup and reload on our buzz. A few of us went out to see Big Hank before he left in hopes of nabbing his autograph. A few of us stayed behind and swapped more zombie stories. I stuck around for another drink before heading back here along with Magpie (currently crashed out on the couch reading some of my comic books).
Alright. I got my 'write' itch scratched so I'm gonna log off here. A great night. A really, really great night. The first in a long time, let me tell you.
