How I met your Mother:

"Wives, bored and sex starved, often find strange ways to amuse themselves... by playing Roulette blindfolded."

Words to Live By... or so I've been told

What I learned tonight: Don't let your friends -
1) Drive a UFO down Memorial stoned after sundown.
2) Hit on the viking helmet clad blonde being courted by muscular rockabilly dudes at the Yacht club after they've downed their 5th whiskey.
3) Try to explain that you're not human but rather a Kryptonian whose rocket landed on a vampire planet without a sun instead of the earth your doomed parents thought they were rocketing you to. Once you explain to them that it's because you feel like a misplaced sun god on a planet of glamorous parasites they tend to look at you funny. Then they hit on the viking helmeted blonde or get really high before climbing into their UFO after dusk.
4) Let them convince you to do spoken word or write a play again. Seriously, I've made enough pasty faced and Edwardian mustached millennials role their eyes non-ironically to last for one life time.
5) Read your FB posts when you've had a 'few'.

... in a manner befitting an equal opportunity employer

Back home from work and ready to kick off my truncated weekend in a manner befitting an equal opportunity employer. Blasting tunes, packing bowls, lifting weights, riding bikes, writing words and gloating in the dark are all on the agenda. Then later, if I'm real good, I'll grind up some Viagra and Flintstones Vitamins that I'll snort off a plastic dinosaur's tail before locating a random backyard to 'River Dance ' to old Skinny Puppy songs in. From there's it'll be a quick run from the law (or the lawn) and then once alone back in bed I'll use gang signs to commit the sin of Onanism with until the dawn greets these sleepless eyes.

Meanwhile... my quest for a non-theatrical/RPG social life continues.