How I met your Mother:

The Sunday Sermon:

"Quit reading over my shoulder, Jesus. This procedure is going to be hard enough as it is."

"Spoiler alert, Doc... she dies at the end of the surgery either way. Y'know, 'mysterious ways' and all that."

"You're not helping, Jesus."

"Looks like I'm going to have to flame thrower a bitch, Diane"

Agent Dale Cooper gets a little pissy when he doesn't get his damn fine cup of coffee in the morning:

About the Author: