Take A Bite Out Of This ...

[jack_babalon]

"Hullo kids! McGruff the Crime Dog here and I want to talk to you today about the dangers of a little something we call the... Invisible College and their latest effort to undermine the very fabric of society (and I mean a good God fearing society... not one of those junk societies we're always bombing every other five years!)

Most parents aren't aware that the Invisible College is one of America's biggest pushers of Illegal Shamanism in the Southeast! Illegal shamanism is one of the greatest threats facing todays youth, second in fact only to the "Gay Dope Smoking Terrorists who hate our freedom so much that they want to get married to each other in an effort to undermine the very meaning of the word 'family' in America"!

Did you know that one out of eight children will try illegal Shamanism before they reach the age of twelve? A number staggering despite it's lack of scientific verification! Did you know that illegal Shamanism is one of the leading causes of nonmonoparadigmism - a disease that cause irrevocable damage to the centers of the brain that regulate one's own faith in both God & Country? Did you know that 'Nonmonoparadigmism' was even a word?

It's not?

Well thank my perpetually upset God for that one, but illegal Shamanism is still a problem facing all of us... so I urge you the parents, the police, the teachers, my fellow anthropomorphic animal men as well as anyone else who is proud to say 'that they can't and won't mind their own business' to boycott this horrible dionysian feast of undiluted sex charged narcohedonism being held this Saturday(June 24th), 10:30 at Push-Push Theater!

Remember only you can prevent Illegal Shamanism from occuring... only YOU!"



One of the warning signs that your child is hooked on the Shamanism is that he might interact with imaginary 'Spirit Guides'.


And now, in the name of Fair and Balanced reporting, a rebutall from Invisible College alumni and part time spokesperson for McDeatholds...