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jack_babalon"One distinct advantage literature holds over cinema" I tell my friend, an aspiring director of sorts "is that unlike movies nobody ever does a remake of a book."
My friend answers with a single arched brow, which always resembls the string of a bow being pulled taut before firin as he takes a prolonged sip off his espresso. The last few years of our friendship have taught me that this combined gesture translates as:'I can neither deny nor confirm this statement, so I will withold judgement until you elaborate further on your initial proposal'. Of course sometimes it means: 'I don't know what the hell your babbling about now man, so i'm just going to nod along and watch the waitresses until it's my turn to talk...'
"I mean really, could you imagine ummm... whassisface the guy who did Fight Club...?"
"Brad Pitt?" He shrugs the answer out maintaining a steady vigil on the young Hindi waitress who is clearing off the adjacent table.
"Nooooo..... the author. Chuck Palindrome or somethin'..."
"Palahniuk" he answers matter of factly now, sneaking one of my smokes out of my pack like he was performing some kind of sleight of hand trick all the while shaking his head in awe of the more obvious physical virtues of the departing young waitress.
"Yeah him! Can you imagine Chuck Palahniuk announcing that he was going to 'Remake' Moby Dick?"
My friend turns back to me, tilting his head a little to the left then the right and back to the left again. This translates as: 'What the fuck are you on about now?'.
"Seriously man, picture the press release or the Times interview where he'd be all like: 'You see i've always been a big fan of the Melville classic, but just thought that it needed to be ... well updated for the 21st century. That's why i've changed Moby Dick from a 'Whale' to a 'shark'..."
"A 'shark'?" My friend asks incredulously
"Oh yeah. Shit... and that's only the beginning! Why not change Ishmael into a little kid? Tap into that whole Harry Potter market... and while we're at it... let's make Queequeg a pet monkey or something... marketing says you can't go wrong with a monkey..."
"A 'shark'?" he repeats and you can tell by the way his brow is furrowed that he's picturing Ahab, as played by Roy Schneider, muttering to old Moby Dick: 'Smile you sonuvabitch...'
"Sure and why stop there? Why not have Danielle Stelle remake 'Pride and Prejudice'... y'know sex it up a bit. Let Stephen King have a crack at Goethe's 'Faust'... Grisham's 'A Tale of Two Cities'... hell why not make it 'A Tale of Three Cities' and one up old Dickens?"
"Alright enough already!" he snaps.
"Alright... just making a point thas' all."
We sit there quietly for a minute.
The cafe has Massive Attack dropping off the XM radio. Outside the rain falls down on Carroll Street. The Hindi waitress is laughing with the sunshine blond over by the register. Sound of silverware on plates, the clinking of glasses, the muffled rumble of brunch conversations. We light another round of cigarettes.
"Jesus Rob...a 'shark'?" my friend snickers shaking his head at the thought of it, "Y'know now that you mention it... i'm kinda surprised they haven't gone ahead with it."
"Yeah... me to to be honest."
My friend answers with a single arched brow, which always resembls the string of a bow being pulled taut before firin as he takes a prolonged sip off his espresso. The last few years of our friendship have taught me that this combined gesture translates as:'I can neither deny nor confirm this statement, so I will withold judgement until you elaborate further on your initial proposal'. Of course sometimes it means: 'I don't know what the hell your babbling about now man, so i'm just going to nod along and watch the waitresses until it's my turn to talk...'
"I mean really, could you imagine ummm... whassisface the guy who did Fight Club...?"
"Brad Pitt?" He shrugs the answer out maintaining a steady vigil on the young Hindi waitress who is clearing off the adjacent table.
"Nooooo..... the author. Chuck Palindrome or somethin'..."
"Palahniuk" he answers matter of factly now, sneaking one of my smokes out of my pack like he was performing some kind of sleight of hand trick all the while shaking his head in awe of the more obvious physical virtues of the departing young waitress.
"Yeah him! Can you imagine Chuck Palahniuk announcing that he was going to 'Remake' Moby Dick?"
My friend turns back to me, tilting his head a little to the left then the right and back to the left again. This translates as: 'What the fuck are you on about now?'.
"Seriously man, picture the press release or the Times interview where he'd be all like: 'You see i've always been a big fan of the Melville classic, but just thought that it needed to be ... well updated for the 21st century. That's why i've changed Moby Dick from a 'Whale' to a 'shark'..."
"A 'shark'?" My friend asks incredulously
"Oh yeah. Shit... and that's only the beginning! Why not change Ishmael into a little kid? Tap into that whole Harry Potter market... and while we're at it... let's make Queequeg a pet monkey or something... marketing says you can't go wrong with a monkey..."
"A 'shark'?" he repeats and you can tell by the way his brow is furrowed that he's picturing Ahab, as played by Roy Schneider, muttering to old Moby Dick: 'Smile you sonuvabitch...'
"Sure and why stop there? Why not have Danielle Stelle remake 'Pride and Prejudice'... y'know sex it up a bit. Let Stephen King have a crack at Goethe's 'Faust'... Grisham's 'A Tale of Two Cities'... hell why not make it 'A Tale of Three Cities' and one up old Dickens?"
"Alright enough already!" he snaps.
"Alright... just making a point thas' all."
We sit there quietly for a minute.
The cafe has Massive Attack dropping off the XM radio. Outside the rain falls down on Carroll Street. The Hindi waitress is laughing with the sunshine blond over by the register. Sound of silverware on plates, the clinking of glasses, the muffled rumble of brunch conversations. We light another round of cigarettes.
"Jesus Rob...a 'shark'?" my friend snickers shaking his head at the thought of it, "Y'know now that you mention it... i'm kinda surprised they haven't gone ahead with it."
"Yeah... me to to be honest."
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no subject
on 2006-08-23 07:26 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2006-08-23 07:28 pm (UTC)The only difference is that in literature, you're generally required to call the book something different.
no subject
on 2006-08-23 07:32 pm (UTC)Though in my humble opinion that would be a reimagining if you will rather than an outright remake. The difference here would be the difference say in the Seven Samurai and the Magnificent Seven or Star Wars and Hidden Castle.
no subject
on 2006-08-23 07:33 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2006-08-23 08:30 pm (UTC)Mmmmmmm…
A shark named Dick, Moby Dick.
So, will they catch him in the movie?
no subject
on 2006-08-23 11:35 pm (UTC)I think my heart actually stopped for a moment during your Pride and Prejudice blasphemy! Please do not do that again. Thank you.
Ok... so, familiar subject and I have thought of a few that could at least be contenders:
*A&E version of Pride and Prejudice beats the original!
*The Postman Always Rings Twice... the remake has Jack!!! Duh?
*Charlie and the Chocolate Factory vs. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory... ie, Johnny vs. Gene... whatever!
*High Soceity vs. Philadelphia Story... I am still all about Philadelphia Story, but I do know intelligent individuals who prefer High Soceity.
*Cape Fear... I like the new better!
*His Girl Friday vs. The Front Page... I like the remake.
*My Fair Lady vs. Pygmalion... Audrey... nuff said.
*Scarface... the remake will show you it's little friend!
*Aside* I would like to annihilate the moron who wrote, not a remake, but a so-called sequel to GWTW.
*raises eyebrow... hmmm... which I don't think I can actually do... oh well*
xxx