jack_babalon | T'was the day before vacation...

"Real Nubian Men" says the bold font on the calender and to prove it a very buff and well oiled black man looks at me with deep sensitive puppy eyes while laying on some kind of fur skinned rug in front of a cozy fireplace; the "Goods" (so to speak)are discretly covered by a decantur and some glasses. Barely.
What the hell is Secret Santa thinking?
"Whadja get Rob?" One of the girls in my division asks me.
"Ummm... a 'Real Nubian Men' calendar."
A roar of laughter goes up. I flip to the back of the calender. Heh. Mister March is a sailor, albeit a very naughty sailor judging by the fact that he's wearing his Sailor hat over his groin region and nothing else except his tie. He's smiling wide at me. Greaaaaat!!
I hold up the calender.
"Thank you. Thank you. Y'know not a day goes by when I don't wonder to myself...'What would a real nubian man do?' and now, now i'll be able to know anyday of the week." I wink and take my seat.
Meanwhile secret Santa had his hands full.
A DvD player was handed to one woman, a gift certificate to Blockbusters to another.CD's a plenty and a green sweater with a red reindeer on it. No one else scores with the Nubian men. I guess i'm just lucky.
I wonder who Secret Santa is. Is this the guise Santa takes in non-christian countries.
"Sanjay tell me what did the White Bearded Ganesh of the West give to you..."
"Ohh by Shiva's six striking fists it appears to be a nintendo 'Gameboy'. Truly I am blessed. I wonder who that masked fat man was."
Maybe Secret Santa is a part of some shadowy,clandestine organization run by the Gnomes of zurich or elders of zion or wait... why's it always gotta be a "Z" with these things huh?
(Underneath the UN building, 20 stories below the ground level, inside a dim lit smoky room they sit around a table)
Roll call: Secret Easter Bunny- Director of Population control.
Secret Tooth fairy- mistress of warfare and bodily harm. Secret Groundhog-master of the shadow. And their leader Secret Santa - he who knows....

Ahhh well. I'm heading home in under an hour and this time tomorrow i'll be landing in Ft.Lauderdale for Christmas with the family. I won't see this place until next year. I look over at my "Real Nubian Men" calender and I start the count down to the end of my year.