jack_babalon | "Squat or Rot": A new reality show coming this Fall! (Reply)

...and even if it was it'd just come back as a brain eating zombie!

SQUAT OR ROT!!!
The Pitch: It's MTV's 'The Real World' meets "SLC Punk", Baby! Follow the laughs, the tears, the drama and the O.D.'s as five Normies have to move into a real live squat house along with five hardcore veterans of 'The Scene'?. Watch as the Punks try to teach the 'newbies' the in's and out's of spare changing, scoring some shit, handling a bad trip, sneaking into a show, hiding from the law, surviving their first pit, surviving their first random ass beating by rednecks, living off of less than twenty dollars a month and many other extreme, in your face challenges that can only be offered by exploiting the social dynamics of the culturally marginalized! Did I mention it's "EXTREME!" So tune in and see what happens when people stop being polite and start getting their head kicked in....

The Cast: The five Normies will most likely be your standard focus group approved cast that will fall into the social archetypes most pleasing to the coveted 18-35 focus group range. I imagine the cast will consist of-

a)Aryan Jock - Smiles a lot, answers yes or no questions with 'dude', easy on the eyes and most likely to become a guest VJ or something equally inane.
b)Sally McMarketable - The Aryan Jock only with breasts!
c)Chuckles the good natured Fat Guy - All ensemble casts need a lovable loser and a fall guy for the most wince inducing challenges (especially on 'the running of the Skinheads' episode)
d)Ms Earnest B Peecee - Our politically correct if not naive college student. She'll be the social conscience of the group talking about recycling, the enviornment, how Love is good and how Hate is bad. Basically nothing that'll make anyone actually think. Oh and she'll also have a decent rack to justify her presence of the show.
e)Mr or Mrs Minority - I don't care... get a black guy, a gay guy, a lesbian (but a pretty one like in the movies), a handicapped samoan... a gay, black, handicapped Unitarian... it doesn't matter we'll kick him/her off the show half way through the series.

The 'Punks': Not sure yet. Marketing was hoping for somebody a little 'Greenday-ish' to cast but it proved to be a little too vanilla. The following are to be considered but keep in mind nothings been set in stone yet -

a)Fun Punk - Skateboards a lot, says funny things when drunk, in a band despite (or because of) an obvious lack of talent, good looking enough to warrant photo spreads in Tiger Beat.
b)Rebel-Rebel - We need an anarchist who's not afriad to shake things up on the show when we allow it. A 'Puck' type if you will, someone to escalate if not create friction between the cast.
c)Druggo - the lovable loser only he's fucked up instead of fat! Funny but not in a way that might justify anyone having to rethink 'Just say no'. Think Jack Black without the charm or personality.
d)Lil' Runaway - we need a moppet. A doll. A cute little street urchin in ripped stockings and able to induce an interest in male viewers twice her age.
e)Growler - The Scary one. A kind of Waddie on steroids or Glenn Danzig in elevator shoes. He should be teamed with Chuckles whenever possible for much hilarity. Also we'll make sure he's arrested at the end of the season.

There you have it folks... another day of blow, jacuzzis and prostitutes have been well earned by the Imagineers of L.A.-L.A. Land!