Calling out Zombified ( BLITEOTW)
Jun. 13th, 2007 05:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jack_babalon"Thank you for calling MeriTech this is Janine speaking how can I help you?"
"Yeah Janine, this is Jack..."
"Who?"
"Jack... Jack Babalon... in accounts billing"
"Why hello Jack."
"Hey... so ah look... i'm calling to let you know I won't be in today..."
"Oh... what's the matter? You're not feeling sick I hope."
"Well no... not me personally... it's just, well I don't know if you watch the news..."
"Oh no I don't like the news. Why have they let Paris out again?"
"Ummmm no... well maybe... I don't know... see the thing is... well apparently the recently deceased are coming back to life, attacking the living in droves and spreading some sort of virus that turns people into mindless, bloodthirsty cannibals..."
"Oh..."
"Yeah ... you haven't heard anything about this?"
"No... can't say I have."
"National Guard units being mobilized across the country, riots spreading across the West Coast, the President issuing a state of emergency while..."
"See that's why I never watch the news... they just never have anything positive to say."
"Zombie Apocalypse... not ringing any bells?"
"Well like I say I said I don't listen to the news ... so why won't you be in again?"
"'Why'? Well mainly because my neighbors stumbling around the hallway missing half his face, chewing on what's left of his cat and howling in pain about needing to eat brains..."
"Brains?"
"Yeah"
"Well has he ummm... gotten you sick?"
"No thank God..."
"Then you should be fine to come in..."
"Ummm look Janene... I don't think you understand what's going on here."
"I know that you've missed a lot of days this year, Jack. Do you want this to go on your permanent record?"
"Seriously are you telling me that the office isn't closed..."
"If we were would I be talking to you?"
"But what about the undead holocaust..."
"Well maybe you should've thought of that before you used up all your sick days..."
*CRASH*
"Okay that's the front door being kicked in Janene, i'm going to have to let you go..."
"Jack listen to me. This is serious! If you don't come in today you better have a doctors note tomorrow otherwise i'm afraid we're going to have to place you on employee probation and you don't want that do you?"
"Fuck off... you can't have my brains!!!"
"What did you just say?"
"I was talking to the zombie..."
"A doctors note or else!"
"Sh'yeah... um lemme call you later, 'kay?"
"Fine but I don't want to hear anymore excuses!"
*line goes dead*
"Yeah Janine, this is Jack..."
"Who?"
"Jack... Jack Babalon... in accounts billing"
"Why hello Jack."
"Hey... so ah look... i'm calling to let you know I won't be in today..."
"Oh... what's the matter? You're not feeling sick I hope."
"Well no... not me personally... it's just, well I don't know if you watch the news..."
"Oh no I don't like the news. Why have they let Paris out again?"
"Ummmm no... well maybe... I don't know... see the thing is... well apparently the recently deceased are coming back to life, attacking the living in droves and spreading some sort of virus that turns people into mindless, bloodthirsty cannibals..."
"Oh..."
"Yeah ... you haven't heard anything about this?"
"No... can't say I have."
"National Guard units being mobilized across the country, riots spreading across the West Coast, the President issuing a state of emergency while..."
"See that's why I never watch the news... they just never have anything positive to say."
"Zombie Apocalypse... not ringing any bells?"
"Well like I say I said I don't listen to the news ... so why won't you be in again?"
"'Why'? Well mainly because my neighbors stumbling around the hallway missing half his face, chewing on what's left of his cat and howling in pain about needing to eat brains..."
"Brains?"
"Yeah"
"Well has he ummm... gotten you sick?"
"No thank God..."
"Then you should be fine to come in..."
"Ummm look Janene... I don't think you understand what's going on here."
"I know that you've missed a lot of days this year, Jack. Do you want this to go on your permanent record?"
"Seriously are you telling me that the office isn't closed..."
"If we were would I be talking to you?"
"But what about the undead holocaust..."
"Well maybe you should've thought of that before you used up all your sick days..."
*CRASH*
"Okay that's the front door being kicked in Janene, i'm going to have to let you go..."
"Jack listen to me. This is serious! If you don't come in today you better have a doctors note tomorrow otherwise i'm afraid we're going to have to place you on employee probation and you don't want that do you?"
"Fuck off... you can't have my brains!!!"
"What did you just say?"
"I was talking to the zombie..."
"A doctors note or else!"
"Sh'yeah... um lemme call you later, 'kay?"
"Fine but I don't want to hear anymore excuses!"
*line goes dead*
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no subject
on 2007-06-14 12:07 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2007-06-14 02:24 pm (UTC)