Great Gift Ideas for the Holidays

[jack_babalon]

I'm hungry, but who's got time to make a sandwich anymore? All that effort - you gotta get up, you gotta walk to the kitchen, you gotta open all sorts of shit - doors, cabinets, trays, jars. What am I, at the gym here? Then you have to stand there and figure out how to put the whole thing together like I'm sort of Einstein or something. All this schleping around for a simple ham on rye... and I thought this was 'Murica?!?!

Well finally some 'egg head' found a way to let me eat the way Jesus meant man to... by using my hands to shovel food into my mouth like a stoned gorilla! All I can say is it's about damn time.



What could be more fun this Christmas than replacing granddad's meds with LSD and then chasing him around the tree with a flying fish? The answer is absolutely nothing at all.



When He-Man, Snake Eyes, and Optimus Prime need serious action figure back-up against the forces of darkness, they turn to... Biker Jesus (and/or Homeless Jesus)!