jack_babalon | "The roads became a white line nightmare..."

In the time it took for me to get off work and arrive at the Doraville Station the world changed radically. When I left work, the President had agreed to "release oil from emergency stockpiles to help Gulf Coast refiners hobbled by a loss of shipments due to Hurricane Katrina. The administration also moved to temporarily ease some pollution standards on gasoline and diesel fuel to avert shortages". The Dow Jones was up 0.7% and the worst estimates of gas prices was $3 a gallon. By the time I got to the station the roads were backed up all along 85 and Pleasantdale, gas stations were shutting down early & the rumor mill argot has it that gas is gonna jump to five bucks a gallon by the end of the day! Two hours- what the hell happened? I know I don't drive, and therefore am considered a secondary citizen here in the South (and a possible communist at that), but do you think that maybe, just maybe, somebody(s) is using the tragedy that hit the Gulf States to boost their profits through fear mongering and peoples innate believe that the worst will work it's way? I don't know, but if some good comes out of this, maybe some people will actually get of their YuppyTanks(tm) and walk the whole mile & a half to the stripmall to stuff their fat fucking faces with Bigmacs & Triple mocha cafe lattes! Meanwhile Dick Cheney unviels a new plan to power SUVs off the souls of Iraqi children... da-da-daaaa!!!

"Just walk away..." Stated The Humungus, spokesman for the New Bush energy policy & current ayatollah of Rocknrolla at a local Exxon.

Meanwhile, as the nation panics at the sudden rise in gas prices, our government promises to address the mounting crisis posed by same sex marriages. Vice Energy Czar & Secretary of car to car warfare, The Wez, offered no comment.