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jack_babalonSo, the Dems lost the house despite running on a platform that was basically - "I'm not Obama, I'm against ISIS crossing our border to spread Ebola and I totally love guns as much as my opponent does." While the Republicans ran on such key issues as - "I'm not Obama, I'm against ISIS crossing our border to spread Ebola and my opponent is totally lying when they say they love guns as much as I do."
But before we get all gloomy-gus here in Progressivatonia let's look at how the election will benefit all of us citizens outside our party affiliation:
1. With wage inequality and continuing high unemployment, that means more American workers will pay less in taxes by not having a sizable enough income for 'Big Guv'mint' to take from them. It's sort of like starving a parasite by going on a forced hunger strike until you're too weak to remember you voted against your economic self-interests.
2. Finally... we can get back to talking about the real issues driving the American Dialogue: Bhengazi.
3. No Net Neutrality will make trolling that much harder.
4. No more having to jones for that XL Pipeline and the 37 estimated American jobs it would create. Why it's another morning in America my good citizens.
5. Think of all the new friends your children and grandchildren will have in the future once the erosion of abortion access is complete.
6. GUNS BITCHES! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! Whooo-hoo! Now I can fend off those UN Black Helicopters from my backyard without a pesky background check.
7. Something will finally be done about those 8 cases of voter fraud that plagued the last election and if that means tens of thousands of legal citizens will be denied a legitimate vote of their own, then it's a small price to pay. Taxation without representation, after all, has often been an American rallying cry.
8. With Conservatives now back in a semblance of power now all you Libertarians so concerned about the NSA will finally see an end to our secret police state, right? No? Oh well, how about we crack down on food stamps then. I mean what could be worse?
So there you go, America... you showed the Secret Muslim Socialist in Chief what for. Good job. I eagerly await another 18 months of gridlock, gerrymandering and having aspects of my personal life dictated by the whims of billionaires before another 6 months of unlimited campaign financing drowns me in more bullshit.
But before we get all gloomy-gus here in Progressivatonia let's look at how the election will benefit all of us citizens outside our party affiliation:
1. With wage inequality and continuing high unemployment, that means more American workers will pay less in taxes by not having a sizable enough income for 'Big Guv'mint' to take from them. It's sort of like starving a parasite by going on a forced hunger strike until you're too weak to remember you voted against your economic self-interests.
2. Finally... we can get back to talking about the real issues driving the American Dialogue: Bhengazi.
3. No Net Neutrality will make trolling that much harder.
4. No more having to jones for that XL Pipeline and the 37 estimated American jobs it would create. Why it's another morning in America my good citizens.
5. Think of all the new friends your children and grandchildren will have in the future once the erosion of abortion access is complete.
6. GUNS BITCHES! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! Whooo-hoo! Now I can fend off those UN Black Helicopters from my backyard without a pesky background check.
7. Something will finally be done about those 8 cases of voter fraud that plagued the last election and if that means tens of thousands of legal citizens will be denied a legitimate vote of their own, then it's a small price to pay. Taxation without representation, after all, has often been an American rallying cry.
8. With Conservatives now back in a semblance of power now all you Libertarians so concerned about the NSA will finally see an end to our secret police state, right? No? Oh well, how about we crack down on food stamps then. I mean what could be worse?
So there you go, America... you showed the Secret Muslim Socialist in Chief what for. Good job. I eagerly await another 18 months of gridlock, gerrymandering and having aspects of my personal life dictated by the whims of billionaires before another 6 months of unlimited campaign financing drowns me in more bullshit.