Rant # 23040908909708- A
Sep. 27th, 2005 05:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jack_babalonWow! What an incredibly fucked up day. The kind of day that reminds you that Baby Jesus can still find time to kick you in the nuts, laugh at you when your down and call you 'a great big poof' when you scream 'WHY?' to the heavens. All this, mind you, while he manages to squeeze out a hurricane, an earthquake, a swarm of locusts and a supreme court nominee all at the same time. It's this very special attention to detail that makes the christians of Sol-3(the dreaded zombie consumer planet)suffer a little more than the worshippers of some broken down heathen faith. What you think Buddha has it in him to pop a drop to the balls when your feeling low? Sh'yeah, as if! Think Ganesh is gonna give your jolly-jollys a quick swift shot when your begging him for a little devine back up? Think again sucka! Only Baby Jesus has the where withall to make sure each and every one of his followers, former followers, enemies and people who have no idea who the hell he is, gets theirs in the end. Whether asked for or not. Now thats a deity!
It's my party and i'll smite if I want to, smite if I want to.... Said local vampire child deity before releasing a meteor shower on an orphanage located in a small impoverished South American town.
My dad always told me there was no such thing as bad luck. Of course he also told me that Boba Fett was a woman, that demons waited in the mist to snatch little children who wet their beds and that my real parents may have in fact loved me, but i'd never know because i'd never see them again! In time I learned to drop the 'bad luck' term in favor of the more scientifically sounding: 'Random Negative Occurences Relative to My Point of View'. That and I figured out that Boba Fett was in fact a dude, but it did make me seriously reevaluate gender stereotypes as my folks planned. I won't even go into the demons & bed wetting connections or the mystery of who my real parents were - (hint feral wolves- who knew?). But the random negative occurences are dropping out of the sky today, not only that but they're crawling out of the sewers like common C.H.U.D.'s, swarming through the air vents and currently seem to be devouring my brain from the inside out...(yes much like Gigli or Swept Away did but admitedly not quite as painfully). Well fuck it! I'm heading home soon, from there I will lock the door, get drunk, read some Anais Nin in the nude and blast the new Madness album at sound 11. It is well advised to allow this to happen until I collapse on the floor, uncontrolably weeping and nursing my devinely kicked nuts into a tolerable numbness until i'm ready to face the world for another round of Karmic BDSM with me as the dharmabottom of no love. You have been warned.
Thank you, we now return to your regularly scheduled Friends List
It's my party and i'll smite if I want to, smite if I want to.... Said local vampire child deity before releasing a meteor shower on an orphanage located in a small impoverished South American town.
My dad always told me there was no such thing as bad luck. Of course he also told me that Boba Fett was a woman, that demons waited in the mist to snatch little children who wet their beds and that my real parents may have in fact loved me, but i'd never know because i'd never see them again! In time I learned to drop the 'bad luck' term in favor of the more scientifically sounding: 'Random Negative Occurences Relative to My Point of View'. That and I figured out that Boba Fett was in fact a dude, but it did make me seriously reevaluate gender stereotypes as my folks planned. I won't even go into the demons & bed wetting connections or the mystery of who my real parents were - (hint feral wolves- who knew?). But the random negative occurences are dropping out of the sky today, not only that but they're crawling out of the sewers like common C.H.U.D.'s, swarming through the air vents and currently seem to be devouring my brain from the inside out...(yes much like Gigli or Swept Away did but admitedly not quite as painfully). Well fuck it! I'm heading home soon, from there I will lock the door, get drunk, read some Anais Nin in the nude and blast the new Madness album at sound 11. It is well advised to allow this to happen until I collapse on the floor, uncontrolably weeping and nursing my devinely kicked nuts into a tolerable numbness until i'm ready to face the world for another round of Karmic BDSM with me as the dharmabottom of no love. You have been warned.
Thank you, we now return to your regularly scheduled Friends List
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no subject
on 2005-09-27 11:03 pm (UTC)*re-cloaks*