Street Crazy Theater on the 8:10am to North Avenue Station

[jack_babalon]

"Sir! Exscuse me Sir! Would you mind moving your bags so I could sit down?" The woman with the crutches asks for the second time. The man taking up both seats looks up at her, cocks his head to one side then the other, mumble/growls something and then goes back to ignoring her. This is the second time she's asked and she now looks to the bus driver for help, for some word of his authority, as if he weren't just an employee of MARTA but rather the captain of some land ship, whose word was law as long as he was ferrying across the city. Apparently the bus driver missed that class in bus driving school and looks rather nervous in the rearview mirror at the prospect at having to interfere. The seats in question are the designated handicap seating and is clearly marked in a baby blue & white picture language, the hieroglyphs of bureaucracy, showing a figure seated with two crutches next to them and a cane. The man in the seat though feels he's entitled to those seats as well. He too is handicapped, he's what the psychoanalytic field refer to as 'Fuckin' nuts'.
The woman shakes her head in disbelief looks back at the bus driver who doesn't see anything and then raises one of the crutches up over her head looking like the avatar of some mountain Gods wrath.
"I said 'please'" She says loudly, but calmly, maintaining her balance despite the lurching start & stops of the bus voyage. The man gets up and if you need to paint a picture in your head think a black Uncle Fester from the Adamm's Family, only wearing coudroy shorts & a blue polo shirt. He starts pacing around the small space in the front of the bus, muttering and rubbing his bald head mechanically. Finally he spins on her and spits
"Fuck you bitch!"
"What-did-you-just-say-to-me?" the woman asks reaching for one of her club-crutches.
"Fuck YOU" He repeats
"You watch your mouth mister" She warns him with the tone and authority reserved only for grandmothers, matriarchs & goddesses of war. It is this tone that even the hardest Cops & generals secretly covetBlack Uncle Fester recoils at the tone of her voice. He starts pacing again and muttering but he won't look at her directly. She, Grandma Club, sits there with one hand on her purse and the other clutching her crutches, ready to fire off a strike if this guy gives her anymore grief. Finally Fester takes a seat, much to the disgust of a young waitress going to or getting off work.
"N***A You Stink" She barks at him and storms off to the back of the bus taking the only other available seat, the seat by me. Uncle Fester just sits there down the aisle, shooting her the Stink Eye the whole time, and since shes sitting next to me, i'm picking up Stink Eye fall out.
"You stop bothering decent people now y'hear" Grandma Crutches snaps at Fester suddenly. Fester in turn shoots her the Stink Eye but Grandma's seen worse from much better. She just sits there holding her own vigil against Fester and his mal'occhio of doom!
"North Avenue Station" The driver announces over the intercom. Everybody gets up at once. I'm sandwiched between a zaftig hispanic women who smells like fresh laundry and the waitress who gives off the scent of fruit flavored bubblegum. I close my eyes and try to remember this sharp contrast between the two ladies. Before I hear Grandma shouting down the aisle
"Get out of my way you old goat"
"Fuck all o'y'all" Fester yells back and the little light over the door glows green and i'm pushed out of the bus on a surge of human traffic.
This is why I love living in the city, even a little one like Atlanta. At any moment you might accidently find yourself sitting front row in the audience of some random act of drama or witness the sole performance of 'street crazy theater' live and in your face 24-7-365. Nothing you can do really but shrug and try to enjoy the ride.

Comments

[bookmonkey211.livejournal.com]

Uncomfortable Yet Entertaining...It should be MARTA's new slogan.