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jack_babalonI don't know why everyone's so upset about the new trillion dollar spending bill that our elected officials passed to keep the bills and rent paid another ten months or so on the American Dream. I mean it's not like it should come as any surprise, in that these were the exact issues our candidates ran on way, way back in November '14 (a simpler, more innocent time to be sure, when Halloween candy was half-priced and a gallon of gas was like, pffft, $2.80 in some places).
I for one remember all those ads that opened with sweeping vistas of dawn speckled farmlands segueing into hard working Americans from a wide spectrum of race and occupation rising to meet the new work day. A disembodied voice, wise and friendly as the voice of God speaking to a Sunday barfly, explains the unknown peril that confront the hard-working people of this great land of ours.
"My friends, like you Senator Dick Whittle does not want to live in an America enslaved by the scourge of trading derivatives that are not FDIC backed by tax payers like you."
Cut to an image of Wall Street investment bankers squatting in front of dilapidated buildings and opening their briefcases to pull out a coffee mug inscribed with the words "#1 Dad". They begin rattling it towards passing foot traffic as a cold wind rips through their thin three piece suits.
"And unlike some Washington Insiders Dick Whittle understands that many of you want to celebrate your sacred Christ given right to Freedom of Speech and allow you to donate not just a measly 32 grand on a campaign but at least ten times that. Just like our founding father's always dreamed."
Cut to an emaciated candidate with pockets pulled out to symbolize his penury as an image of President Obama's head floats in the background laughing maniacally. Suddenly an eagle appears and in it's mouth is a big sack stamped with a single "$". The eagle drops the bag into the disembodied and still chuckling POTUS and an explosion flares across the screen. When the image returns the once emaciated candidate stands with renewed zeal and surrounded by the smiling faces of hungry children he will feed by teaching them to fish in our now EPA Free ponds instead of relying on federally funded food programs.
Next to the benevolent candidate stand the CGI Jedi-like holograms of Saint Reagan and Jesus of Nascar.
"This year let's tell Washington we've had enough. Vote Whittle. Vote Dick Whittle."
And after 18% of the population voted here we are, watching the system work like a boss, as Democrat and Republican alike vote for those issues that they were sent to address. A dearth of tax-payer funded corporate welfare for Wall Street and a ten fold increase in campaign contributions.
I think the words you're looking for are... "You're Welcome."
I for one remember all those ads that opened with sweeping vistas of dawn speckled farmlands segueing into hard working Americans from a wide spectrum of race and occupation rising to meet the new work day. A disembodied voice, wise and friendly as the voice of God speaking to a Sunday barfly, explains the unknown peril that confront the hard-working people of this great land of ours.
"My friends, like you Senator Dick Whittle does not want to live in an America enslaved by the scourge of trading derivatives that are not FDIC backed by tax payers like you."
Cut to an image of Wall Street investment bankers squatting in front of dilapidated buildings and opening their briefcases to pull out a coffee mug inscribed with the words "#1 Dad". They begin rattling it towards passing foot traffic as a cold wind rips through their thin three piece suits.
"And unlike some Washington Insiders Dick Whittle understands that many of you want to celebrate your sacred Christ given right to Freedom of Speech and allow you to donate not just a measly 32 grand on a campaign but at least ten times that. Just like our founding father's always dreamed."
Cut to an emaciated candidate with pockets pulled out to symbolize his penury as an image of President Obama's head floats in the background laughing maniacally. Suddenly an eagle appears and in it's mouth is a big sack stamped with a single "$". The eagle drops the bag into the disembodied and still chuckling POTUS and an explosion flares across the screen. When the image returns the once emaciated candidate stands with renewed zeal and surrounded by the smiling faces of hungry children he will feed by teaching them to fish in our now EPA Free ponds instead of relying on federally funded food programs.
Next to the benevolent candidate stand the CGI Jedi-like holograms of Saint Reagan and Jesus of Nascar.
"This year let's tell Washington we've had enough. Vote Whittle. Vote Dick Whittle."
And after 18% of the population voted here we are, watching the system work like a boss, as Democrat and Republican alike vote for those issues that they were sent to address. A dearth of tax-payer funded corporate welfare for Wall Street and a ten fold increase in campaign contributions.
I think the words you're looking for are... "You're Welcome."