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jack_babalonFuck knows why but today my thoughts turned to the much neglected Transformer-wannabe that could change shape from a functioning digital watch into a tiny toy robot. I remember getting him from a grandparent as an early 80s stocking stuffer or birthday present. One look and I immediately knew that it would last all of three minutes on the mechanized killing fields the Autobots and Decepticons had reduced our planet into.
Poor bastard. It came with no weapon rendering it a total embarrassment on the battlefield, its legs couldn't bend forward so it would have to crab-scuttle and worse of all no one even bothered to give it a name.
"Digitron"?, "Temporicus"?, "Timey Tim the Complete Shite Transformer"?
It was kind of fun to set the Transformer that could turn into a robot-panther out of a cassette to hunt it down for laughs. Other than that it was mainly a hostage or something one of the bigger Transformers would pick-up to use as a shield or a screaming club that told you what time it was. What else could you do, I saw other kid's have their Timey Tim get beaten up by their little sister's My Little Ponies and Strawberry Shortcakes.
Worst of all you couldn't even wear it in school, least not in Yonkers, NY where it was the must-have fashion accessory for signaling an ass-kicking from your larger classmates.
But now that I'm older all I can think of the bad rap Timey Tim got. He wasn't useless, he was a fucking working wristwatch that turned into a toy robot. How fucking cynical was I as a kid where that wasn't at least kinda, sorta cool? Why I could've pretended he could hear me and use him on spying missions or just lent him a spare gun from one of my other action-figures. Sheee-sus Christ, would it have killed me to help a tiny Transformer knock-off out a little.
I mean come on, at least it wasn't a fucking Go-Bot.
So here's to you, Timey Tim... I hope many a 40 year old wo/man-child raise their wrist to you in salute and look back fondly on the adventures we could've had.
Poor bastard. It came with no weapon rendering it a total embarrassment on the battlefield, its legs couldn't bend forward so it would have to crab-scuttle and worse of all no one even bothered to give it a name.
"Digitron"?, "Temporicus"?, "Timey Tim the Complete Shite Transformer"?
It was kind of fun to set the Transformer that could turn into a robot-panther out of a cassette to hunt it down for laughs. Other than that it was mainly a hostage or something one of the bigger Transformers would pick-up to use as a shield or a screaming club that told you what time it was. What else could you do, I saw other kid's have their Timey Tim get beaten up by their little sister's My Little Ponies and Strawberry Shortcakes.
Worst of all you couldn't even wear it in school, least not in Yonkers, NY where it was the must-have fashion accessory for signaling an ass-kicking from your larger classmates.
But now that I'm older all I can think of the bad rap Timey Tim got. He wasn't useless, he was a fucking working wristwatch that turned into a toy robot. How fucking cynical was I as a kid where that wasn't at least kinda, sorta cool? Why I could've pretended he could hear me and use him on spying missions or just lent him a spare gun from one of my other action-figures. Sheee-sus Christ, would it have killed me to help a tiny Transformer knock-off out a little.
I mean come on, at least it wasn't a fucking Go-Bot.
So here's to you, Timey Tim... I hope many a 40 year old wo/man-child raise their wrist to you in salute and look back fondly on the adventures we could've had.