"If I had possession over judgement day..."

[jack_babalon]

As we all know one day the quickening (wait I think that's in Highlander)... *ahem*..one day the Rapture will come and Jesus will pluck us off the earth no matter where we are, what we're doing or whether we're dead or not. That's why I think it's important for Born Again Christians to Not drive, operate heavy machinery or engage in any other activities that might be considered dangerous if & when a beam of a light hits you and sucks you straight out of your car and take you to a 'better place' before you can hit the brakes, pull over & undue your seatbelt. Now before you get your crosses lit & pitchforks sharpened wouldn' t you feel bad if you were driving a 16 wheeler down the road when suddenly you were teleported by the Big-Man to his BYOB Rapture Party and you knew that truck went careening into an orphanage...? That's the kinda thing that could kill your post judgementday high right on the spot! So please, on behalf of the doomed ( nonchristians, homosexuals, scientists, or basically all us Readers & non-breeders) don't do anything that would jeopardize anyones life just because you got abducted by the Jesus UFOs.

Thank you
Jack B-

Artists rendition of the Invasion of the Divine Body Snatchers


"Step into the light my son, never mind the 15 car pile up you just caused..."

"Night of the flying, living dead"

"Hello have you or a loved one been injured in a car wreck due to the RAPTURE, i'm Jack Babalon and I will fight for your rights to sue the creator... call me at...."

Comments

[nazzrose.livejournal.com]

OH my dead god!

WHOOO!!!!

[vomikronnoxis.livejournal.com]

Re: WHOOO!!!!

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

OMG!
If that car hit that pole how will anyone ever find that poor lost dog?

[gaeasdaughter.livejournal.com]

Some of us are not only planning on cashing in on this abduction-fantasy while the soon-to-be-Rapturous are still among us, but are actually hoping it proves to be real.

It would resolve everything from traffic problems to school board debates (even if there is a creator, he obviously wants nothing to do with the rest of us, so we can get on with learning science and real ethics instead of dogma).

[catwalk.livejournal.com]

enh...i don't look so good in long white robes.
i suppose it's all for the best.

[(Anonymous)]

Personally, I can't wait for the Rapture. Just think how smooth and enlightened things will be when all those self rightous fuck-heads have gone to their "reward". Talk about heaven on earth!