Fist Fight on the 8:15am

[jack_babalon]

It began when a 300lb plus woman waddled onto the bus, paid her fare, looked over and saw that a woman of equal girth was occupying simultaneously both of the handicapped seats:"Oh hell-ll no!" barked the arriving passenger to the seated woman.
"Excuse me" The other woman replied, so perturbed she stopped shouting into her cellphone for a few moments. I looked over at the other passengers and everybody just nodded or raised their eyebrows knowingly. It was the same facial expressions I used to see in Highschool right before a fight went down, the "Oh my god don't say a fuckin' word 'cause I think they're actually gonna go at it" look.
"Bitch I am HANDICAPPED you just FAT!" the seated one bellowed back defiantly.
"Ladies" the bus driver spoke into the buses PA system, a meek attempt at diplomacy but it was too late. At the word 'fat' the standing woman started dropping blows on the seated passenger, everyone around me began cheering then the seated woman stood up, fell back down again, lifted up her cane and started swinging back.
The driver pulled off the road and was going to attempt to step between them.
I took this as my chance to get the fuck out of dodge and walk the remaining three blocks to the station before 5-0 pulled up and i'd have to give my account of the whole thing. I looked behind me at the driver who was being swatted by an accumulated 600 pounds of rage while the other passengers cheered. As I passed one of the bus stops some college kid asked me if the bus was broken down or what.
"There's a problem with the handicap seating" I tell him and pick up my pace. It was gonna take more than this little outbreak of insanity from the traffic & entropy Gods of Atlanta to make me late this morning!

Comments

[retrofatale.livejournal.com]

Obviously the other lady was handicapped too, she was too stupid to quit shoveling food in her mouth until she turned into a blimp.

[bookmonkey211.livejournal.com]

OMG what an event to have unfold before your morning weary eyes...how completely uncomfortable and totally awesome all at the same time.

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

Well that's the trade off for living in the big city. On the plus side I can get to and from work a lot quicker. On the down size I occasionally have to flee like some wounded cur from a fist fight on the bus because i'm running behind as it is.

Still once I had a little lunch and a few cups of corporate sludge coffee I allowed myself the guilty pleasure of snickering about it.

[bookmonkey211.livejournal.com]

I can't help myself sometimes...As concerned and socially conscience as I can be, I am slightly evil in those types of situations and can't help but find if pathetically and hysterically funny.

There is a new Johnny Knoxville movie called "The Ringer" coming out that appeals to this course and completely uncharitable sliver of my nature. He is pretending to be retarded so the team will win at the Special Olympics...And sadly enough, I could have written that script if I had the nerve. It's going to be so awful and funny at the same time I am sure I may snort laugh in the cinema. I have to find a few mean people to go and really enjoy it with me that won't make me feel evil for doing so (Well, besides Oz). For example, one close friend I can think of is too nice and will make aaawwweee comments while laugh at the handicapped.

[gaeasdaughter.livejournal.com]

I, too, must shamefully admit to finding humor in such things (and at my age I definitely should know better). But you knew that already, didn't you, fellow sickos.