Black Coffee & Watts

Well nothing like a strong cup of iced office coffee (aka "Heart Attack Black Frozen") along with a shot of Alan Watts to hot wire your nervous system back online.

Thanks to the divine Manifestress aka karlita for the morning zen.

Well it's back to the data pits for me kids... but first howabout a little pick me up ....Prickles Versus Goo!

I'll be dropping many suckers with the Speed and Authority

They all laughed, yknow.
All of them!

The Ex's:
"Baby we've been together for over a year now..."

"Yeah..."

"And well... oh Jesus i'm ... i'm never any good at this... but um..."

"Go ahead Rob, i'm listening."

"Well I really... I really love you... and I just want to say you'd make me the happiest man in the world... if you'd.. well..."

"Oh my God are you asking me what I think you're asking?"

"Baby will you be the one to shoot me between the eyes if I get bit by the living dead during the inevitable Zombie Apocalypse?"

"..... what?"

"I know it's a bit too soon and I don't want to rush you..."

My Friends:
"Hey man we're all heading to a party at Dan's house tonight... should be fun and Nick says he has a certain little lady friend he'd like you to meet...."

"What're you insane! It's begun..."

"What?"

"The Inevitable Zombie Apocalypse! It's begun... I saw a mob of them, just shambling around mindlessly, jaws hanging open and drooling at the prospect of eating my fine, fine delicious white meat!"

"Rob... I need you to listen to me for a minute, OK? You always think it's a Zombie Apocalypse whenever you go to Moe's for lunch... they're customers ok? Just customers..."

"FUCK YOU YOU FILTHY ZOMBIE COLLABORATOR HUMAN-RACE TRAITOR!"*CLICK*

My Job
"Mr.Mosca according to our records you've used up all your alloted sick time... to ...and I quote.. 'Prepare for the Coming of a Zombie Apocalypse'..."

"You forgot 'The inevitable' sir."

"Excuse me?"

"It's not just 'a' Zombie Apocalypse... like the break out in Port St Lucie a few years back... though in retrospect...we did dodge quite a bullet then... but what i'm talking about is 'The Inevitable Zombie Apocalypse!'... oh and it helps if you say it with an exclamation mark..."

"Mr Mosca I have a little cup i'd like you to pee in now..."

The fools!
The collaborators!
The... um well fools and collaborators is all I have right now... but now you can see, now you can see how all my years of AZM* training has paid off...along with all those years of being single to the point of tears

Would you survive a zombie attack? You Did perfect! You made every move correctly.

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

*AZM-AntiZombie Manuevers natch!

Take A Bite Out Of This ...

"Hullo kids! McGruff the Crime Dog here and I want to talk to you today about the dangers of a little something we call the... Invisible College and their latest effort to undermine the very fabric of society (and I mean a good God fearing society... not one of those junk societies we're always bombing every other five years!)

Most parents aren't aware that the Invisible College is one of America's biggest pushers of Illegal Shamanism in the Southeast! Illegal shamanism is one of the greatest threats facing todays youth, second in fact only to the "Gay Dope Smoking Terrorists who hate our freedom so much that they want to get married to each other in an effort to undermine the very meaning of the word 'family' in America"!

Did you know that one out of eight children will try illegal Shamanism before they reach the age of twelve? A number staggering despite it's lack of scientific verification! Did you know that illegal Shamanism is one of the leading causes of nonmonoparadigmism - a disease that cause irrevocable damage to the centers of the brain that regulate one's own faith in both God & Country? Did you know that 'Nonmonoparadigmism' was even a word?

It's not?

Well thank my perpetually upset God for that one, but illegal Shamanism is still a problem facing all of us... so I urge you the parents, the police, the teachers, my fellow anthropomorphic animal men as well as anyone else who is proud to say 'that they can't and won't mind their own business' to boycott this horrible dionysian feast of undiluted sex charged narcohedonism being held this Saturday(June 24th), 10:30 at Push-Push Theater!

Remember only you can prevent Illegal Shamanism from occuring... only YOU!"



One of the warning signs that your child is hooked on the Shamanism is that he might interact with imaginary 'Spirit Guides'.


And now, in the name of Fair and Balanced reporting, a rebutall from Invisible College alumni and part time spokesperson for McDeatholds...