Holy...

The "MAN" has got my ass hump, hump and humping!

Will respond to the dozen or so comments and emails soon I promise!

Keeping it Reel: Twenty... twenty... "28 Weeks Later"... I wanna be sedated!

Thanks to Teddy Bear and Kulani, yours truly got to weasel his way into an advanced screening of 28 Weeks Later last night. The follow up to 2002's wonderful 28 days Later is definetly a case of once bitten (or in this case vomited on with blood), twice shy. The first fifteen minutes of the movie hits hard with the intensity of a Turbo-Zombie attack on crack but sadly the movie can't quite keep up at this pace and quickly biodegrades into a shuffling corpse of it's own potentiality, one that feeds on a set of implausible circumstances instead of the traditional diet of fresh intenstines and brains!

The Synopsis of Evil: It's been over six months since the RAGE virus spread across the United Kingdom with devastating results the likes of which have not been seen since Madonna became a British citizen. The 'Infected' have starved to death (stupid rage 'zombies') and outside a small community of survivors, England is a giant island graveyard and London has become a ghost town.

But don't worry folks... the American military are here and they have a plan!

Yes leading an international NATO relief team, Uncle Sam has arrived to ensure that the last remaining Britons have a semblance of civilisation to return to by establishing a quarantined safe zone in a section of London. We follow Tammy and Andy, a brother and sister who are reunited with their father (the always wonderful Robert Carlyle) in the London Safe Zone. However with "Operation Enduring Metaphor for America's Incompetency in the Middle East" in full swing one can see trouble for the reunited family coming quicker than you can say "Land of the Dead called and they want their premise back".

As one might presume from the previews, the virus becomes active again and spreads insidiously through a series of plot holes apparently scattered throughout the city of London. In fact a lot of potentially interesting subplots seem to fizzle out as it's revealed their inclusion was only there to propel the story towards the impending outbreak.

The Wrap it up light is on: I don't mind, what will no doubt be perceived as, a strong anti-American sentiment throughout the film, at times a bit obvious and at others spot on. But it is ironic though that the film resorts to some of the worst American Hollywood cliches - including buckets of explosions (including the kind that can be outrunned on foot), false jolts, gratuitous violence against women (in my opinion at least one scene went a bit too far in my opinion, not gore wise really but in it's length compared to other attacks on victims comparatively) and finally the "Yeahbuwha...?" moment at the end of the film.

28 Weeks Later really seems to suffer from the absence of Danny Boyle, who opted out of directing to a role of producer, who in my opinion knew the value of shock after mounting dread rather than shock for shocks sake.

If the movie took itself less seriously this could easily have been Grindhouse for people who only have two hours to kill instead of three and a half. If it winked at you a little more then you might just be willing to accept the gaping plot holes with a laugh. Instead it tries to take itself a little too seriously for such glaring admissions to be permitted.

Buy the ticket, rent it, HBO it or ignore all together?: All in all the movie has enough good scenes in it to warrant a rental when it comes out or a peep if it hits your cable late night in the future... but little more than that.

Footloose and fancy free

At first I thought these were prosthetics for Christian amputee's who would never know the joys of waking up to discover they had their very own spontaneous stigmata in the arch of their foot... y'know Big JC style. Then I thought perhaps that they were like those novelty Smoking Monkeys I love so much and if I stuck a cigarette in the hole it would puff on it's own.

Only later did I realize that someone out there in Kinktopia (the land known to sailors and cartographers as the 'Internets') had taken the term "Pussy footing around" so literally.

I bet they have pocket sized ones for the small-feet-fetish-folks.

Pipe Dreams

"By night Hassan I Sabbah, like a civilized wolf in a turban, stretches out on a parapet above the garden and glares at the sky, conning the asterisms of heresy in the mindless cool desert air. True, in this myth, some aspirant disciples may be ordered to fling themselves off the ramparts into the black... but also true that some of them of will learn to fly like sorcerers" - Hakim Bey

"'Nothing is true and all is allowed' was the groundwork of the secret doctrine, with the help of God, the ruler of the world, losen the bands of the law. Blessed be his name. Blessed be his name. Is paradise anything but the pleasures of this present life? Or the pains of hell anything but the tiresome fatiuge which the followers of religions have to endure in the form of prayer, fast, holy war and pilgrimage. Know that I have delivered you, by this letter of mine, from your chains and freed you from your bonds. Whatever it is forbidden for the perverted world becomes lawful for you and those of your degree..."



So i've been listening to the WREK online archive and checked out the latest episode of Bob's Slacktime Funhouse. This weeks show had a Hassan I Sabbah theme and had a wonderful line up including Burroughs, Gysin, Hakim Bey, Genesis P-Orridge blended into some wonderful mixes involving old episodes of The Prisoner, Bill Laswell soundscapes and various Sub Genius Devivals (plus where the above quotes are from).

It is quite simply one of the best shows i've heard on the radio in a long time and to be honest I regret we didn't have access to some of this material for Collective Works Invisible College series. Check it out by clicking on the hyperlink referenced above, scroll over to the far right column designated for Sunday and click on the Slacktime Funhouse at 1am. I recommend you skip the first three minutes and thirty seconds since it's just a bleed over from the previous show. I recommend indulging in the luxurys of the Hashassin before or while listening.

If anyone out there has the tech to do so, the inclination and might live in the Atlanta area, i'd really appreciate a copy of this before the feed gets updated.

"We love you and help you out" : Hang in there, the Space Angels are a coming...

So you've gone to Gnostic Mass, invoked the Goddess, meditated under the influence, had something Wiccan this way come, tantrically bought the 'sexy' back and have played Kabbalistic hopscotch on the Tree of Life. Yeah that's pretty cool and all, but are you ready to meet the The Universe People?

Are you aware that as you read this blog Lizard Men ("Warning they want to replace your spiritual heart by calculator") and UFO Angels are battling for possession of your soul! Let's use the scientific power of charts to explain...



Well I think that sums up everything sufficently, maybe we should meet one of the Squadron Commanders who are monitoring us even now and get a good look at the starship SHARE before you go.



Ashtar Sheran(above)is commander of the Grand Cosmic Squadron of 10 million spaceships. Not a bad gig huh? Plus he's got this whole Orlando Bloom vibe going... so you know he's scoring like Captain Kirk on Viagra! Sweet!

( we all live in a giant silver pill )