There is a secret Dojo in Las Vegas, known only to 33rd degree initiates of the C.I.A., where select candidates are trained in the deadly fighting techniques created by the legendary King of Rock. Some have jokingly referred to this style as 'Elvitsu'... usually right before having their jugular torn out of their throats by a pompadoured master killer! Of all the different martial arts, it is only the one that requires an adept to master hand to hand combat while under the influence of "KENTUCKY RED KILL PILLS" - a deep fried secret cocktail made of over seven different combat enhancing chemicals whose recipe is a matter of national security.
Was it this very style that allowed Elvis to escape from the clutches of his evil twin brother the Reverend Jim Jones... or perhaps allowed him to vanish in a puff of smoke from the Grassy Knoll in Dallas? Who can say... and survive the wrath of America's Intelligence community in doing so?
Currently it is estimated that there are over two dozen different agents trained in this esoteric art active in the United States. These agents are also believed to be masters of other obscure combat disciplines such as Voodoo Boxing, Seven Winking Monkey style, Tromboand something known only as Angry Tiger enters Burning Kitchen.
For what sinister purpose these agents have been trained for remains one of the greatest mysteries in the history of covert operations.
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