Crash landing on Planet Now
Jul. 6th, 2004 10:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jack_babalonSecret agent invitation.Sautrday night:The invocation of Babylon, full moon and mental fireworks to celebrate our independence day. Chemical Magick and chaos rituals, open wide and accept the eucharist of fire. Strange rites of passage being made up as we go along. Brain scrubbed raw with lightning. Memories of electric phermones flooding over us, the taste of a hundred kisses, echoes of shiver touches crackling across my body, safety sigils etched in the side of the head(growing like Athena out of old man Zeus' skull), dancing with the avatars of Ishtar and Venus, of Astarte and Kali, spinning and pivoting in the black light. I pick the locks and bribe the guards, briefly escaping from the prison of my own self image. I stand on the precipice of my own ego and realize I have been given a glimpse of true freedom, both terrifying and beautiful in it's magnitude.
And now I'm back here in the office.
Surronded and alone at the same time.
The endorphins return and gather slowly where they burned in sacrifical delight, the muscles ache a little less, reality ebbs back. I feel like the movie's over and all the lights are coming back on telling us it's time to go now, it was fun and all but you can't stay.
It's like this dream I had in bootcamp. I was having one of my standard issue shitty days, and after a midnight to four in the morn watch, I had an hour before the revelry bugle would summon us to another day of servitude- but in that quick hour of sleep I dreamt of a woman - both goddess and lover- who told me some wonderful secret and sat with me in a safe memory of my life far from the military and held my hand. When the bugle called and the lights flickered on a few hours shy of sunrise, I woke up crying- I couldn't remember what she looked like or what she said I just knew that I'd suffered a profound loss but had no one or way to express it.
That's what it feels like today.
Most sincere thanks for all involved.
Element of Fire-Out.
And now I'm back here in the office.
Surronded and alone at the same time.
The endorphins return and gather slowly where they burned in sacrifical delight, the muscles ache a little less, reality ebbs back. I feel like the movie's over and all the lights are coming back on telling us it's time to go now, it was fun and all but you can't stay.
It's like this dream I had in bootcamp. I was having one of my standard issue shitty days, and after a midnight to four in the morn watch, I had an hour before the revelry bugle would summon us to another day of servitude- but in that quick hour of sleep I dreamt of a woman - both goddess and lover- who told me some wonderful secret and sat with me in a safe memory of my life far from the military and held my hand. When the bugle called and the lights flickered on a few hours shy of sunrise, I woke up crying- I couldn't remember what she looked like or what she said I just knew that I'd suffered a profound loss but had no one or way to express it.
That's what it feels like today.
Most sincere thanks for all involved.
Element of Fire-Out.
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This Saturday?
on 2004-07-06 08:52 am (UTC)Re: This Saturday?
on 2004-07-06 09:08 am (UTC)Re: This Saturday?
on 2004-07-06 09:10 am (UTC)no subject
on 2004-07-06 11:02 am (UTC)*hugs*
no subject
on 2004-07-06 11:25 am (UTC)But had fun hanging with you guys Fri. night. Thanks for inviting me.
no subject
on 2004-07-06 07:52 pm (UTC)