Last Thursday

[jack_babalon]

Thursday: I soon discover that the following will not be taught by my driving school:

Steering while operating a firearm

Urban Off Road Driving

The 'Charleton Heston'

Engaging, operating and disengaging of turbo rockets

Hot Wiring For Dummies

How to tell if a small child & his pet monkey have stowed themselves away in your trunk

The 'James Brown'

High Speed Law Enforcement Evasion

How to drive through a series of improbable explosions while a helicopter attacks you

The subtle difference between racing killer robots and racing killer robot-cars

Esperanto for beginners

I did however get to practice parallel parking, driving down Lawrenceville highway during rush hour, driving along 285 at night in the rain, Speed trials and my favorite: Steering while my instructor gets into a passionate arguement with his son on his cell phone as I desperately try to dodge a cannibal SUV that has drifted through two lanes of traffic on a sudden whim.

Incidentally when did the turn signal become a sign of weakness in this country? Was it around the same time when the words 'please' & 'thank you' became taboo? Relax people, I know it's worth getting someone killed so you can make it home to catch American Idol, but take it easy ok? No one's asking you to do something completely insane like actually walk the whole half a blocks distance to get your Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese.

Comments

[luna-virgo.livejournal.com]

My mind is boggling that you are learning to drive in Atlanta. Driving there completely freaks me out, and I've been driving for almost 20 years.

Good luck!

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

Thank you. It'd be easier if they'd let me learn how to steer and operate a firearm!

[vomikronnoxis.livejournal.com]

Oh God ... I rant at least once a week about the lack of turn signals -- especially when the clod who doesn't signal also has a "Share the Road" sticker on his bumper.

Me, I use a turn signal if I make a sharp turn. I signal if I have a change of opinion.

I also hate how there's so little respect for maintaining one car length between vehicles on the interstate.

~rl (who really needs to practice his Charlton Heston)

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

A lot of people out on the road need to brush up on their Charlton Heston, but still hundreds of deaths are recorded on the roads each year because they weren't trained to respond properly to the presence of robed, albino vampire men on the roads!

[quickly-9.livejournal.com]

"Incidentally when did the turn signal become a sign of weakness in this country?"

Hey, buddy. This is America! If you don't like the way we do things, get out!

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

Or I could just do what every other Red State American does... bitch until I get my way and shrug off any fact that interferes with my carefully thought out temper tantrum.

12 years of a Republican controlled congress has taught me plenty!

[nazzrose.livejournal.com]

*shivers*

[daucus-carota.livejournal.com]

I understand you will learn the really important skills:
-Eyeliner application at high speed techniques
-Road rage sign language
-Chick-obtaining-cruisin' methods (better known as "The Marlon Brando")
-Horror movie guy-in-the-back-seat scared faces
-Vehicular sex vs. the gear shift debate

I missed my Monday-Jack-Fix today :(
xxx

The typical ATL highway situation.

[destructodeluxo.livejournal.com]

All I can say is,If theres road work,and the speed limits 55?
Then why in sweet fuck? would you drive 70-80 mph.
Thats just willful endangerment disguised as late for work,mall,dildo practice.
Slow down ya fucking morons,people work here.
I swear they should whack you in the face with a kendo stick
when you read the study up on Road signs.
"Whats that one?" "A stop sign?" Whack! "No thats a yeild!!"
Also Mexico really needs to teach better drivers safety classes.
Seems every day Im dodging the ladder vans & lawncare trucks making the high speed lane changes without signal or basic understanding of the law of physics.
"If you didnt tie down all those ladders good,Then "Gravity+your Shite driving=A very big fuckin road hazard! Whack!!"
I cant fathom why you would leave the safety of marta for G.A. roads and highways Rob.
As a former over the road delivery man,let me state "GA is the worst in the contry besides Fla" Seems the further south you go the worse it gets.
Ah well best of luck with your drivin school.Heres a sermon by the worst preacher ever.
NIK
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gCWY0ElyX0&eurl=

[gaeasdaughter.livejournal.com]

Welcome to the road!