A small dilema that perhaps you, my LJ Friends list, can help me resolve...

[jack_babalon]

In a Lurch


DANGER: Activist & Zombie Butler XING
January 28th, 2007
~Rob M.

So there I was, working on the one story i've always dreamed of writing: A rather steamy 'slash-fiction' epic involving both the Munsters and the Addams Family that i'm pitching to Collective Works in the hopes of turning it into a Broadway style musical.

The premise is fairly simple, as it revolves around an especially randy Gomez Addams seducing a vulnerable Lily Munster (on a quiet afternoon when her werewolf son Eddie is at school and her husband Herman is at work) into a rather nasty and macabre Menagerie-a-trois with Morticia. Eventually Grandpa Munster, a known peeper and letch, reports this to his Son-In-Law (but not before the old bastard scores himself an eyeful while hiding in the corner in his bat form). So while Lily's enjoying a Hot Addam's Sandwich, old Herman comes busting in on them Kool-Aid Man style through the wall. A fight breaks out and soon Gomez realizes that only one member of the Addams clan can go toe to toe with a enraged Herman... their zombie bulter Lurch!

Anyway, that's when it occured to me, what's Lurch's story?

Is he a zombie summoned by the dark forces wielded by Morticia's Me-maw? Is he some kind of Frankenstein-esque Monster built for servitude by a deranged Gomez? Is he some guy Uncle Fester picked up while cruising the gay bars of 1960's Hollyweird?

Any ideas?

Oh and now a poll, one that will help me finish up my little narrative ...

[Poll #919341]

Comments

[efire360.livejournal.com]

Don't forget that Lurch played the harpsichord and was a skilled tango dancer.

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

But he remains a formidable pugilist in his own right.

[vomikronnoxis.livejournal.com]

Lurch has the advantage of not getting bogged down in emotions. Herman, however, was always a bit of a hot head.

I'd say Lurch gains the advantage for a while, but eventually Herman "Hulks up" and turns the tables by reaching deep down.

Ah, the Montagues and Capulets of our time.

~rl

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

Yet no one has voted for poor Herman. Is this a sign that our society perfers the stoicism of Lurch over the impassioned antics of Herman? Are we saying we prefer to be zombie servants rather than blue collar Frankenstien's? And the bigger question remains, who had the better theme song?
I like the Addams Family snap your fingers tune but I also love watching strippers at the Claremont Lounge get naked to the Munsters theme?

*sigh*
Strippers & Munster...

[vomikronnoxis.livejournal.com]

I accidently voted for Lurch. :(

~rl

[daucus-carota.livejournal.com]

Lurch... hands down. Herman would always duck his tail and run... Lily was ALL the strength in that family. She was Herman's backbone and she's, well... hmmmm... not as strong these days...
xxx

[esmio06.livejournal.com]

you and your matriarchal theories

[esmio06.livejournal.com]

Lurch moves way too slow for Herman

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

Finally a Herman fan stands up!

[esmio06.livejournal.com]

I dont give in to all the fanfaire surrounding this GW Bush clone.

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

Ever the iconoclast!

[esmio06.livejournal.com]

Im thinking about the history of lurch, I think you have a completely seperate backstory there that would be fun to explore. Maybe write teh first one yuo were talking about then prequel is with the lurch Family history or something like that.
I tend to have always thuoght of lurch as just a big man, maybe an old boxer who was hit in the head a few too many times, and they took him in

[(Anonymous)]

I vaguely remember an episode with Lurch's mom or grandma in it. I think she was going to take him away from the Addam's or some such. I'm curious how he learned to play the harpsichord myself.

[esmio06.livejournal.com]

dont rememebr that one..
but it kind of sums up my rainman theory. Their house is an insane asylum and he is a committed patient. The mom, or Tom Cruise try to take him out but it wont work.

[gaeasdaughter.livejournal.com]

Actually, I always wanted to learn to tango myself.

Voted for Lurch ... the brains behind any of those hoo-doo that voo-doo like you-do zombies is their creator. Poor Herman is a powerful, but good-natured version of the sad Shelley-esque creature too naive to be true, shuffling awkwardly toward self-realization.

Bottom line seems to be brains versus brawn.

I always vote for brains.

[piratebecky.livejournal.com]

I don't know if you are a wrestling fan, but I see the Herman/Lurch question as something akin to Dusty Rhodes vs. The Undertaker. While both are legends to whose legs I would cling pitifully and weep if I ever met them, it is easy to see that Lurch's singleminded intensity would overcome Herman's goofy, yet tactically sound moves. Also, Herman strikes me as someone who would fight dirty. Lurch would be unmoved. He is the unstoppable force combined with the unmoveable object. *dreamy sigh*