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jack_babalonThanks to therealmacgyver for the sobering news!
Is this true, America? 40th Place...? Really? I'm ... well frankly a little ashamed right now... and as a citizen of George Bush's United States that's saying a lot! C'mon guys we can do better than this. I mean we just got our asses handed to us by Moldova! Moldova for Chrissakes ... I didn't even know that was a country! Seriously what is that... where Dr.Doom is from*? The Hungarians are laughing at us guys. The Brit's are calling us a bunch of "cheap dates" and the French are ready to slip us a Rophie-Coloda right in our Freedom Beer!
Friends, Americans and Country Folk... are you going to let this stand? Is this what our parents and grand parents fought so valiantly for in Dubya-Dubya Two (aka "The Germans Strike Back!")? Are you just going to let the Land of Liberty get served like that? Yeah, that's right... I went there... SERVED!
So right now I call on every man, woman and child reading this (yes all six of you!) to do their fair share of drinking this weekend in order to remind our drinking buddies in the International Community that we Americans can Still Hold Their Liqour!!!
Meanwhile we can take small comfort that at least we kicked both Japan and Mexico's ass! And on the bright side, sure we're only 40th place in annual alcohol consumption... but in the prestigious fields of Fruit Pie consumption, hamburger assisted suicide, rides 'pimped' per household, strippers with college degrees, robot related deaths in the workplace, bottle rocket induced comas and of course annual Moth-Man sightings... Uncle Sam's still #1 Baby!
Proposed New Mottos for the United States in the 21st Century #13: "America... it's hard out here for a pimp!"
* -This bit of ignorance has been bought to you by the American Public Schools of the Reagan Era
therealmacgyver for the sobering news!Is this true, America? 40th Place...? Really? I'm ... well frankly a little ashamed right now... and as a citizen of George Bush's United States that's saying a lot! C'mon guys we can do better than this. I mean we just got our asses handed to us by Moldova! Moldova for Chrissakes ... I didn't even know that was a country! Seriously what is that... where Dr.Doom is from*? The Hungarians are laughing at us guys. The Brit's are calling us a bunch of "cheap dates" and the French are ready to slip us a Rophie-Coloda right in our Freedom Beer!
Friends, Americans and Country Folk... are you going to let this stand? Is this what our parents and grand parents fought so valiantly for in Dubya-Dubya Two (aka "The Germans Strike Back!")? Are you just going to let the Land of Liberty get served like that? Yeah, that's right... I went there... SERVED!
So right now I call on every man, woman and child reading this (yes all six of you!) to do their fair share of drinking this weekend in order to remind our drinking buddies in the International Community that we Americans can Still Hold Their Liqour!!!
Meanwhile we can take small comfort that at least we kicked both Japan and Mexico's ass! And on the bright side, sure we're only 40th place in annual alcohol consumption... but in the prestigious fields of Fruit Pie consumption, hamburger assisted suicide, rides 'pimped' per household, strippers with college degrees, robot related deaths in the workplace, bottle rocket induced comas and of course annual Moth-Man sightings... Uncle Sam's still #1 Baby!
Proposed New Mottos for the United States in the 21st Century #13: "America... it's hard out here for a pimp!"
* -This bit of ignorance has been bought to you by the American Public Schools of the Reagan Era
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