The Old Order Ch-ch-ch-ch-changeth!

[jack_babalon]

One thing about the shaping up of the coming Play is the process of cast selection. A kind of marshaling and restructuring of our forces while we try to figure out who's in and who's out (and who doesn't want any of what we're selling in the first place).

A recruiting of talent both foreign and domestic.

It actually reminds me of those scenes in comic books from back when I was a kid, where the roster suffers a sudden change and the remaing members of the team have to hover over their round table, contemplating and posing heroically over an avalanche of photographs of prospective members.

"... and if that's not enough this guy dresses up like an alley cat and can box fairly well!" The Human Bitch Slap mumbles through his blue hood.

"You sold me" The Bird nods passing his hand over a pile of headshots, "Who's next...?"

"This woman has the mutant ability to manipulate the sensitivity of the environments dependence on initial conditions... in other words she can control the very forces of chaos itself!"

"Why is she dressed like a prostitute at the Renn Fest?"

"They don't have prostitutes at the Renn Fest!"

"Well maybe they should!"

"..."

"..."

"Riiiight... well how 'bout this guy... he's a robot with the brain of a Frank Sinatra impersonator!"

"Well I can't see how that won't come in handy... he's in. Next!"

"Captain Full Throttle! This guy can strangle anything?"

"Robots?"

"Anything"

"Hitler Robots"

"Even Hitler Robots"

"What about ghosts?"

"Yep..."

"How can you strangle a ghost?"

"It's his thing, okay. He once strangled a runaway train..."

"That's just stu ... ah fuck it... he's in. Now who else we need?"

"Well we're gonna need a cowboy..."

"That goes without saying... how about him?"

"The Candy Cowboy?"

"Yeah... why not?"

"He's just a little ..."

"What?"

"Homo..."

"Hey! We don't discriminate in this outfit, Mister!"

"...cidal!"

"Oh... we'll just put him in the Maybe pile... with Murder Clown, Doc Fist and that guy who can melt brains...*shudders* Alright... let's wrap this up I ain't got all night."

"Why whatcha got going on?"

"I'm a grown man wearing a hawk mask with a pair of wings hanging off my back. A man who has decided voluntarily to look like a giant bird that somehow managed to join a marching band.. what do you think i'm up to tonight?"

"A rave!"

"..."

"A fetish club!"

"..."

"Ummmm....fighting crime?"

"Fighting crime!" The Bird sighs and takes another long draw from the bottle he keeps tucked in his wings. No wonder Sheila walked out with the kids...

"Anyyyyway.... what we'll need next is a knight, a ninja and a guy in a top hat..."

"What about the Gentleman Ninja?"

"He's not a knight"

"No, actually he got knighted by the Queen a few years back... him and Mick Jagger."

"Sweet... he's in!"

"Do we have a monkey of some kind?"

"Nooo... wait you mean like a talking gorilla?"

"Uh-huh"

"We've got it narrowed down to three choices: Romeo Bonobo the Disco Seducer, Go-Rilla the fastest ape alive annnnd... Slyvester Stallone."

Both men look at each other for a few seconds.

"Go-Rilla!" they say in unison, The Human Bitch Slap crumbles up the head shot they got from Sly's agent while the Bird tries to figure out what exactly Romeo Bonobo is doing to the three strippers in his photo.

So we got a cowboy, a gorilla, a robot, a ninja-knight-in-a-top hat, a man who can strangle anything, a man dressed up like a cat, a woman, I got wings, you got a hood on, what's left..?"

"A guy with novelty joke arrows! "

"A woman who can read minds when she touches her temples with her fingers?"

"A French Caveman!"

"A brain that floats in a jar of club soda...?"

"A midget with a secret!"

"A website?"

"A myspace profile..."

"A blog!!!"

"A pitch for a 13 episode TV series..."

"All right..." The Bird croaks, "Let's break for a smoke and give Murder Clown a call."

Comments

[therealmacgyver.livejournal.com]

I'd buy it