Meanwhile back on the Ranch...

[jack_babalon]

"Wake up, Jack Babalon...you have slept long enough!"

"Whuh...where am I?"

"You are in The Carnal-House... The dreaded Abatoir of Words and The Temple of Our Lady of Punishing Muses..."

"Sweet Clive Barker on a stick! Why am I here?"

"To finish your book. You may ask four more questions before we begin!"

"Can I ask why you're wearing the decapitated head of a cow as a helmet?"

"No!"

"Then can I ask you to put on some pants at least?"

"No!"

"Fair enough... hmmm... ohhh, I know: Can I leave now?"

"Only when you have finished the book, Jack Babalon!"

"Well that sucks..."

"You have one more question... then I will begin to... 'inspire' you!"

"But I already have a muse! A sassy, cute Cow-Girl who's good with ropes and everything!"

"She is on Spring Break for the next two weeks along with the other muses. Only I remain. Ask your last question!"

"Wait you can't count the pants thing as one... that's not fair."

"The 'pants thing' counts!"

"Very well. Last question: Mind if I smoke?"

"..."

"...?"

"... if you must!"

"I must!"

"Then light up Jack Babalon... for after that I will show you the one thousand-and-thirteen secret arts of the screaming lash!"

"Pheeeewww... don't suppose you got a light do you?"

"No more questions!"

Comments

[karis-straif.livejournal.com]

LMAO!!!

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

Glad you liked it.

[catwalk.livejournal.com]

sweet clive barker on a stick!

ha!

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

That's my version of "Great Caesar's Ghost!" or "Sweet Christmas!". Catch phrases are such a bitch cause all the good ones are taken.

[weishaupt.livejournal.com]

What are you on and where can I get some?

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

I'm on the Intrawebz - a highly addictive narcotic powered by a series of tubes and photoshopped images of cats!

[entropic-om.livejournal.com]

Wow. What a photo.
It immediately calls to mind Takashi Miike's Gozu. Which I watch every so often hoping it will make sense...eventually. ;p

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

I thought so too. It should come as no surprise that this photo was found on one of those Russian LJ's that are so prolific on random image searches. Never seen Gozu... some kind of anime I presume?

[entropic-om.livejournal.com]

Heh. Not anime at all. It's one of Miike yakuza movies. He's also directed Audition and Ichi the Killer. *shivers* Ichi actually pushes up against my upmost violence tolerance - there are many parts of that movie that I forget about til I'm discussing it. That being said it's amazing...in an amazingly violent way. Heh. If you've not seen Audition yet, it's also worth it. *eg*

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

You poor bastard. That's hilarious, if hilarious comes with a swirl of wretched.

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

Hilarity now comes in twelve new flavors - wretched, transient, opaque, gotterdammerung, the last-teardrop-of-November, black hole crunch, wink-berry, Nordic, preapocalyptic, scrumptacular, redonkulous and dreaded!

[catwalk.livejournal.com]

ooh, ooh! i'll take a scoop of wink-berry aaaaaaand... black hole crunch, please! with sprinkles! andandandand a cherry on top! yay!

[littlesebastien.livejournal.com]

holy shit, that photo is disturbing

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

Imagine the poor photographer, who was hired to shoot some lovely pastoral scenes out on a ranch in the sticks - only to find a naked Fritz Van Whippincattle standing there butt ass naked with a dead animal on his noggin and a whip in his fist...

"Yeahhhhhhh... i'm just gonna run back to the car and get some wider lenses... i'll be right back!"

[gaeasdaughter.livejournal.com]

Nah, it was just toooo interesting a photo op. After years of shooting the dull beasts, he was probably just dying to tip one over, then this assignment came along and made his day. (Just speculating.)