A terrible and savage irony

[jack_babalon]

"LOOK OUT MAN... THAT CLOWN'S PACKING HEAT!!!"

Armed with 'Super-Soakers' filled with a cocktail of Mace, liquid LSD and badger piss - members of the Harlequin Association for Hostile Absurdities (H.A.-H.A.) engaged riot police in downtown, Terminus yesterday afternoon. It was learned later on that the riot police weren't there in response to any threat of civil disobedience, but rather were in fact themselves protesting recent budget cuts enacted by the city council that had severely reduced their operating budget for 2008-2009 (which included drastic reductions for the pensions of retired officers). The riot police began their march from Peachtree Boulevard and proceeded to make their way to the State Capital in a peaceful demonstration. However the presence of the marching officers in full uniform down the streets quickly triggered a hostile reaction in long time residents of the city. Within an hour of the march's onset various (and often conflicting) mobs of counter-protesters began to line along the sidewalks to jeer the demonstrators. These counter-protesters included such organizations as Thugz For Jesus, ACT-UP, Food Not Bombs, S.H.A.P.E. (SkinHeads Against Petrol Energy), The Fulton County Ladies Reading Society, Furries without Borders, H.A.-H.A. as well as an assortment of random pedestrians who took offense to the purpose of the procession.

When the riot police began chanting "NO MONEY, NO PEACE!" the collective mob was incited into an uncontrollable rage by several clown agitators in the mob and soon descended upon the protesters in mass with an orgy of improvised violence. With no police available to respond to the sprawling street fight, the battle quickly escalated into a free for all across the city. Governor Beau Wilkins quickly declared a state of emergency and the National Guard was called in to quell the riot.

There were no fatalities reported in the violence yesterday, however thirty-two riot police along with twenty-three counter protesters and four national guardsmen were hospitalized. No update has been given to their condition as of the time of this writing. A statement was issued by H.A.-H.A. spokesperson, Shock Derrimama that read as follows -

"!"

~Shock Derrimama, Harlequin Association for Hostile Absurdities
May 29th, 2008

More to follow as updates become available.