Ennui too are Legion

[jack_babalon]

I don't know what it was but yesterday I just couldn't wake up. There was no real reason for it though as I had slept a solid eleven hours the night before. Yet I spent the entire afternoon in this state of near exhaustion resembling the worst 72 hour straight insomnia funk from back in my 'speed' days (all I was missing was the brittle sheen of paranoia that would scab over my consciousness during these times and the 34 inch waist that would mock my body in the years to come). My thoughts kept getting tangled up in cobwebs from which fat, hissing spiders of bad moods would swarm all over me - I felt them crawling around in my ear canal at one point, laying their filthy phosphorescent eggs in there until all I could hear was the sound of my own relentless bitching. Try as I might I just couldn't shake the little fuckers off me. I went to walk it off when the sun went down but ended up doing this staggering ghoul shuffle through Little Five Points - "Man you're all fucked up" the gutter punks and crack heads mumbled in my passing rattling their styrofoam change cups at me with the nervous faith of a priest waving a cross at the approach of the undead. At one point I even attempted to write my way through the psychic fog but found the lifting and laying of words too tedious an effort to bother with. Even the twin patron saints of orgasms and chocolate (of which I have made my life a humble shrine to) were unable to bestow upon me any relief. Somewhere in the early hours of the morning I was finally able to pry open the fist that gripped the stone of my awareness and watched as it vanished deep beneath the black waters of sleep.

I was walking along the beach arm in arm with my girlfriend Vee and what was apparently her doppleganger. They both looked exactly alike from one another (both wearing the same see through white dress and pair of well worn cowboy boots). They not only had the same voice but used the same patterns of conversation. At first it was a funny little game between the three of us - with me rambling off questions that I thought only the real 'Vee' could possibly answer, but the longer we walked the more serious the game became. They were both starting to get pissed with me because I was apparently missing some vital clue that would have easily told me which was which. At one point they demanded I choose... right there and then... which one I wanted. It surprises me on reflection... but I chose both of them and this seemed to be the right answer as they both squealed in delight and peppered me with little kisses. I'd like to say that my dream then turned into a rugged, Penthouse forum-esque menagerie trois between me and the dopplegangers but instead we just kept walking along the beach after that watching the waves roll out of the mist to crash soundlessly against the shore.

Normally I don't remember much of my dreams but the vaguest snatches of scenes... stray tracks of footprints found in the dust of recollection upon awakening... but as of right now the dream seems as clear as if I was trying to remember what I had for dinner last night (a bowl of cereal if you're curious). Maybe I had some kind of 24 hour bug? Maybe it's the stress of needing $ for my trip and the fact that my novel seems to be finish-proof lately? Maybe I just needed the sleep (I usually run on five to six hours at best)?

Anyway you have better things to read right now and I have better things to write, so I will leave this post with a promise for a full 4th edition AD&D update as well as my usual barrage of uncommentable ramblings.

Until then...


"I had the weirdest dream last night, Babe..."

Comments

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

FWIW, I enjoy your uncommentable ramblings. I don't comment much anymore because I'm having a profound lack of cleverness these days, possibly due to the world falling in around my ears. Ah, well.

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

Well I'd say it's worth a lot, thank you.