The Coming of the Sasquatch Wars... update

[jack_babalon]

Well the NY Times is reporting that the Sasquatch genetic material sample has tested as 96% Opossum DNA and the remaining as 4% Human.

This of course can only mean one thing, to even the most impartial observer...

... that there are Opossum Men lurking in the hills of North Georgia!!!

Not much is known currently about the Opossum Man (Anthrodidelphimorph) outside of internet folklore, though it is believed that these creatures are marsupials and like their smaller cousins bear the distinction of having the most teeth of any land mammal. These creatures have been observed 'playing possum' when confronted by man. Here the beast will often mimick the appearance of a dead animal - laying motionless, baring its teeth, pulling its lips back and excreting a foul odor from its anal gland.

In fact it has been speculated that the sasquatch corpse that was discovered may in fact not be dead at all... but rather playing Opossum Man!

More to come I'm sure...

Comments

[weishaupt.livejournal.com]

We in the Thule Society have long suspected the existence of these creatures as we have examined many pieces of Assyrian art that appear to depict extensive breeding between Untermenschen and a creature that appears to be a relative of the Opossum.

I had always assumed the majority of them had evolved into the French and I am surprised that some of their backward cousins still roam the wilds.

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

"I had always assumed the majority of them had evolved into the Frech...". Bravo, sir! I love it when the comments funnier than the post... thank you for a much needed smile tonight.

[k-navit.livejournal.com]

"playing Opossum Man!"

(groan)

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

I know but I couldn't resist.

[catwalk.livejournal.com]

so... really big roadkill. greeeeaaaaaat...

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

Well at least we know they can be killed...