Dramabolic Steroids!?!?...
Mar. 24th, 2005 01:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jack_babalonCongress Threatens Theater Legislation
AP- Mar 22,2005
WASHINGTON-Congress has announced today the expansion of it's on going investigation into the use of illegal performance enhancers into other areas of popular American entertainment. Shifting it's attentions from the alleged steroid abuse reported in Major League Baseball, to the use of Performance-Arts-Enhancing drugs (PAED), or Dramabolic Steroids, that has become a growing trend in the American theater scene.
World Anti-Doping Agency(WADA) has reported that an estimated 42% increase within the last seven years of such popular Drambolic steroids such as Beckettol- which can temporarily boost the brains ability to produce non-rational symbol associations and frame them within a two hour production , often described as 'A drug in which nothing happens, twice!'. Artaudanine Which causes enhanced neocortex cababilities, but also produces a simoultaneous and often undesired rise in testosterone levels - often leading a user to 'Use the grotesque and the ugly, the confronting and the painful to confront an audience and be cruel to them'. This 'Cruelty' and 'use of the grotesque' can be seen in such productions as the top Broadway musicals 'The Lion King' and 'The Phantom of the Opera'. Pirandeloxx use has also been widely reported by industry insiders. Pirandeloxx which increases Metastructural representations, briefly allows a user to 'breach the 4th wall' but continued use unchecked can lead to minor hallucinations in which the characters seem to become aware of their presence within a play.
Sen.John Mccain(R-AZ)went on record to state, "They can't be trusted!" and "What do we need to do? It seems to me that we ought to seriously consider ... a law that says all theater organizations have a minimum level of performance-enhancing drug testing,". When asked if he was aware that his remarks were being made at a rally for the reform of Social Security, McCain added only that "There are more pressing issues to be dealt with, I mean really, have any of you guys tried to sit through 'Beauty & the Beast'? Seriously that F******G blew monkey d**k!"
Sen.McCain did admit that:"I did cry during Cats- I love you Rum-tum-tugger!'
The House Government Reform Committee, clearly having nothing else to do to justify their presence, announced that Congressional hearings would begin next Friday. Already David Mamet has refused to appear before the committee
as well as Tony Kushner who said " The real tragedy here, besides Paccino's scene chewing in 'Angels in America', is the massive waste of both time and energy these comittees will no doubt entail". Hugh Jackman, host of May's 2005 Tony Awards and also that "Van Helsing dude!" went on record to state: "You wanna shoot someone shoot me!"
Hugh Jackman responds to accusations of using Dramabolic Steroids during his performance of 'Oklaholma'.
WADA says common side effects and signs of use of Dramabolic Steroids are:
1-Increased facial hair, especially in the chin area.
2-A tendency to expound on 'the complex existential symbolism' of any movie
recently seen "The alchemical marriage of opposites is a very predominant theme in 'Dude where's my car?'.
3-Flexing Metaphors!
4-Inability to maintain an erection.
5-Sudden urges and impulses to adapt the most meaningless tripe bullshit into a theatrical production- "Saved by the Bell: A tragedy in three acts"
6-Inability to maintain a job
7-Inability to wake up before four in the afternoon
8-A sense of hostility and disdain for any performance that they did not have a hand in the production of.
9-A proclivity towards sexual and narcotic 'experimentation'.
These are just a few of the known signs of Dramabolic Steroid abuse.
AP- Mar 22,2005
WASHINGTON-Congress has announced today the expansion of it's on going investigation into the use of illegal performance enhancers into other areas of popular American entertainment. Shifting it's attentions from the alleged steroid abuse reported in Major League Baseball, to the use of Performance-Arts-Enhancing drugs (PAED), or Dramabolic Steroids, that has become a growing trend in the American theater scene.
World Anti-Doping Agency(WADA) has reported that an estimated 42% increase within the last seven years of such popular Drambolic steroids such as Beckettol- which can temporarily boost the brains ability to produce non-rational symbol associations and frame them within a two hour production , often described as 'A drug in which nothing happens, twice!'. Artaudanine Which causes enhanced neocortex cababilities, but also produces a simoultaneous and often undesired rise in testosterone levels - often leading a user to 'Use the grotesque and the ugly, the confronting and the painful to confront an audience and be cruel to them'. This 'Cruelty' and 'use of the grotesque' can be seen in such productions as the top Broadway musicals 'The Lion King' and 'The Phantom of the Opera'. Pirandeloxx use has also been widely reported by industry insiders. Pirandeloxx which increases Metastructural representations, briefly allows a user to 'breach the 4th wall' but continued use unchecked can lead to minor hallucinations in which the characters seem to become aware of their presence within a play.
Sen.John Mccain(R-AZ)went on record to state, "They can't be trusted!" and "What do we need to do? It seems to me that we ought to seriously consider ... a law that says all theater organizations have a minimum level of performance-enhancing drug testing,". When asked if he was aware that his remarks were being made at a rally for the reform of Social Security, McCain added only that "There are more pressing issues to be dealt with, I mean really, have any of you guys tried to sit through 'Beauty & the Beast'? Seriously that F******G blew monkey d**k!"
Sen.McCain did admit that:"I did cry during Cats- I love you Rum-tum-tugger!'
The House Government Reform Committee, clearly having nothing else to do to justify their presence, announced that Congressional hearings would begin next Friday. Already David Mamet has refused to appear before the committee
as well as Tony Kushner who said " The real tragedy here, besides Paccino's scene chewing in 'Angels in America', is the massive waste of both time and energy these comittees will no doubt entail". Hugh Jackman, host of May's 2005 Tony Awards and also that "Van Helsing dude!" went on record to state: "You wanna shoot someone shoot me!"
Hugh Jackman responds to accusations of using Dramabolic Steroids during his performance of 'Oklaholma'.
WADA says common side effects and signs of use of Dramabolic Steroids are:
1-Increased facial hair, especially in the chin area.
2-A tendency to expound on 'the complex existential symbolism' of any movie
recently seen "The alchemical marriage of opposites is a very predominant theme in 'Dude where's my car?'.
3-Flexing Metaphors!
4-Inability to maintain an erection.
5-Sudden urges and impulses to adapt the most meaningless tripe bullshit into a theatrical production- "Saved by the Bell: A tragedy in three acts"
6-Inability to maintain a job
7-Inability to wake up before four in the afternoon
8-A sense of hostility and disdain for any performance that they did not have a hand in the production of.
9-A proclivity towards sexual and narcotic 'experimentation'.
These are just a few of the known signs of Dramabolic Steroid abuse.
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no subject
on 2005-03-24 06:16 pm (UTC)Hmm, no mention of Stoppardhydrophenanthrene, tho. You know the one, makes you start dropping Shakespearean insults...
Stoppardhydrophenanthrene
on 2005-03-24 08:00 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2005-03-24 06:22 pm (UTC)Jim Carrey is fucking pirandeloxx junkie.
~rl
no subject
on 2005-03-24 07:50 pm (UTC)RE: That makes me giggle
on 2005-03-24 08:03 pm (UTC)and other insidious forms of stage entertainment.
I will pray for you...
;)