"Take the pain!" - Sgt. Barnes, Platoon

[jack_babalon]

Four more rejections yesterday from prospective agents via the miracle of Internet:


A quick note, I blanked out my name (this being an open post and all) but otherwise none of the replies have been editied or changed.

1)Dear _____ ______,

Thank you for sharing your work with us. Unfortunately, it is not a good match for Firebrand and we will not be able to offer you representation.

I hope you excuse this form letter, but it is really only representative of our lack of time and not a lack of respect for your work. Please understand that there are many reasons why we must turn down potential clients. We look for material that immediately grabs our attentions and emotions, and that we believe will do well in the current publishing and bookselling market. But sometimes we even pass on well written, marketable projects simply because it is out of our realm of expertise and would be better represented by another agent with different taste or experience.

Thank you again for sharing your submission with us and we wish you the best of luck in your search for the right agent.

Sincerely,

Firebrand Literary

2)Thanks, but this isn't for me.
Authors Note: Wow now that is to the point!

3)Dear _____:
Thanks so much for considering us. Although this sounds quite interesting, it is not what we are looking for at this very time.

Thanks so much for giving us the opportunity and good luck in your quest for publication.

Best,
Uwe

4)Dear _____,

Thanks so such for querying us, but we are unsure that this premise would work in this tight market. All said we would encourage you to do what many of our clients have done prior and self- publish with a reputable, and recommended, publisher. This is a new age in publishing, and as evidenced time and time again, neither The New York Times bestsellers list nor major booksellers discriminate against the self published. Oftentimes, authors choose to get proactive in order to build a sales record and boost their chances of being picked up.

I would like your permission to pass along your information to someone who can help you get started on your path towards getting published. If you are ready to become proactive about your career we will let them know more details about your manuscript and how to get into contact with you. There are a lot of publishers that seem to have gotten the better of new authors, the two that we refer you to are not of that ilk, they have had a number of successes.

Best,
Tracey Ravenelle
Objective Entertainment

Authors note: This one was interesting in that it was forwarded from the agent I queried to her boss. Though I wish the 'premise' of my novel was feasible to them, at least she took some time to give me more than a standard form rejection. For that I am actually grateful. Not sure if I want to go the self-publishing route before I run out of options but it is worth looking into I suppose.

Meanwhile, as the rejections mount, I am getting nothing on the job-hunt end of things, not even an opening I could apply for, much less get turned down for.

Alright, a quick lunch, some coffee and back to lobbing Q-Letters through the windows of reputable agents across the globe. I'm not doing my 'job' until I get ten of these rejections a day.

Comments

[ltmurnau.livejournal.com]

I can't offer you any professional advice, only unprofessional encouragement, but I'm certain your novel is better written than that fourth rejection slip. I hope it's not some kind of vanity-publishing scam.

[k-navit.livejournal.com]

What you said.

It would be kinda funny (kinda) if they hooked you up with an editor who inserted random comma splices into your work.

It would be even funnier (kinda) if they asked you to pay out the ass for that privilege.

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

Well as I said the jokes on them... I have no money to pay out the ass (which would really suck if I also was one to 'put my money where my mouth is').

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

Thank you, sir... I really hope so to, still haven't contacted them back. Though if it's a scam the jokes on them, I really don't have the money to be swindled from if it is.

[melodyclark.livejournal.com]

A journalist once sent the bound manuscript form of a Jerzy Kosinski novel to five major publishers and five literary agents.

All were rejected with form rejection slips -- one of the literary agents did avow that he had "some talent". lol

You're in great company, jack. Don't let it get you down.

Ach, I should add that you should check this out
http://accrispin.blogspot.com/2009_01_01_archive.html

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the words of encouragement. A friend of mine just posted a link of rejection letters to now famous authors including Catch – 22 by Joseph Heller

‘I haven’t really the foggiest idea about what the man is trying to say… Apparently the author intends it to be funny – possibly even satire – but it is really not funny on any intellectual level … From your long publishing experience you will know that it is less disastrous to turn down a work of genius than to turn down talented mediocrities.’ (http://www.writersservices.com/mag/m_rejection.htm)

Thanks for the link - I almost went to Pitchfest last year actually (friends and family believed my novel would make a great screenplay) but to be honest my dream is to have a book... not a movie... for now.

[melodyclark.livejournal.com]

Always aim for the book first. Then you can collect all the option money until someone finally produces the movie. I have a friend who writes YA vampire novels who has collected quite a tidy sum that way. lol

The link was for their mentions of Objective Entertainment. I knew I'd heard it somewhere. It seems they sent out a lot of flagrant merchandising letters.

Thanks for the rejection letter link -- those are hilarious.

[ammutbite.livejournal.com]

hey, have you considered also sending out your work, but misrepresenting it as a fake translation of a successful published author in Europe?

Maybe the Vernon Sullivan/Boris Vian trick would be a better lure for the corporate profit minions.

I can easily enough provide you with very believable credentials from Russia

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

I haven't considered it... but I am now.

Incidentally I too used a few made up words in the novel (none of which is in the chapters I submitted) but I couldn't resist dropping "pugilismo' in the 20 page fight sequence I wrote up.