This just in...

[jack_babalon]

The good citizens of Japan are locked, loaded and ready to smoke fools upon hearing word from Omega Command Base Zero that the dreaded Pedo-Bear and Hentaisaurus have once again escaped their imprisonment on Monster Island. With only the nation's elderly seemingly immune from attack by these diabolical and sordid creatures, a country wide geriatric militia has been called upon to defend the children of the Rising Sun. "We are armed and ready to go all America on their asses!" said one Okinawa grandmother brandishing an M-16 during her bicycle patrol of the area. While a spokesman for Tokyo's Super Lucky Excellent Gun Club issued a statement to it's members via e-mail this morning: "This is the day we have been training for since the inception of the Super Lucky Excellent Gun Club - a fullscale Pedo-bear invasion! Let us not be proven unworthy in the face of our noble obligations. The safety of our children and grandchildren demands nothing less than absolute and unwavering vigilance!"

While no official sightings of either the Pedo-Bear or Hentaisaurus have yet to be reported off the shores of Japan, the nation nevertheless remains on a level 7 Kaiju-Alert. Prime Minister Yasuo Fukuda, in a press conference this afternoon, has stated that he has activated all available Ultraman Units in the Pacific, including the long retired robot hero Jet Jaguar. Fukuda went on to issue an open plea for military assistance from the United States as well as the United Nation's Giant Monster Task Force.

More on this story to come.


An artists sketch of the PedoBear based on eye witness reports.

Comments

[vomikronnoxis.livejournal.com]

Awesome -- reminds me of the exercise they carried out at a zoo in japan. What happens if an earthquake frees the gorillas?

I think the photos say plenty about this particular preparedness drill:

http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&um=1&q=+site:cache.gettyimages.com+japan+zoo+earthquake

~rl

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

What I want to know is just how the guy playing the gorilla in the drill came across that job in the first place? Does he specialize in portraying escaped gorillas in paticular, or does he branch out into the occasional zebra or lion? I would love it if he turned out to be an ex-patriate American actor, down on his luck but happily in love with one of the zoo keepers.

Thanks, this really made my day (and somehow will probably also be made into a blog or short story or some such effort).

[msicenhour.livejournal.com]

I only got one thing to say...

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

*faints in a manner befitting a Jane Austen novel*