Indelible Lessons in thee Noble Art of Stage Combat

[jack_babalon]

Excerpts from Indelible Lessons in thee Noble Art of Stage Combat - vol.III, purportedly written in 1623 by esteemed Jacobean thespian, rake and notorious mountebank, Justin Twomley of Hagsborough. Discovered recently in the 'Gray Library' of Sir Winslow Knuckleworth (after his rather grim and curious demise), it is one of the seven known surviving tomes attributed to the infamous Twomley. Despite the passage of centuries since their inception, these maneuvers remain popular standards in theatrically staged duels and are still taught diligently to this day by the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art (RADA).

The author however must humbly plead with his respected audience to take heed not to perform any of these maneuvers at home unless under the direct supervision of an expert Stage Combatant. Many a fine gentleman and lady have been disembowled, defenstrated and decapitated
whilst attempting to perform these very actions under circumstances of a concupiscent nature. As such the author will not be held culpable if his warning goes disregarded by his readership and accepts no responsibility for the dreadful consequences that will inevitably ensue.




Maneuver 102 - Thee Tackling Swordsmen



Maneuver 20 - A Courtship of Amorous Assassins



Maneuver 95 - Thee Eunuch-Maker's Surprise



Maneuver 26 - Spanking thee Rogue



Maneuver 103 - Thee Vandal's Dunk (also known as Queen Elizabeth's Royal Piledriver)

Comments

[melodyclark.livejournal.com]

This may explain a lot about my experience observing the Arkansas Shakespeare Theatrical Company.

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

It certainly explains the oddest production of "Death of a Salesman" that I ever saw!

[vomikronnoxis.livejournal.com]

26 was banned under Cromwell IIRC.

~rl

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

Nice!

:)

[catwalk.livejournal.com]

#95 is the best counter to 'the matrix maneuver'...

how important are the poofy pants to stage combat, praytell?

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

Then Maneuver #95 will hence be known as 'Eunuching the Neo'!

Very!

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Unrelated to anything, I thought you might enjoy knowing that Steve Jackson is a high-ranking member of the New World Order and is ultimately responsible for the 9/11 terrorist attacks. I <3 the internet, it's so train-wrecky.

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

Damn and I thought those conspiracists who thought that the Freemason's hid images of 9/11 in our currency (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGxdyyTZvUk) were fucked up.

Then again where better to hide your nefarious secret world dominating organization than in a card game about secret world dominating organizations? It's the last place 'they' would look!

[act3scene1.livejournal.com]

Alone, I wouldn't have spent much time looking at these images, but your captions... I can always count on you for the best laugh to end my evening with! Thanks!

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

Happy to be of service, ma'am... a little laughter before bed can go a long way to making the next day a bit of a better prospect.