Inglorious Bastet

[jack_babalon]

Went out for a smoke and Firecracker escaped.

Three block chase ensued. Barefooted, in nothing but shorts and a t-shirt. Stop and go. Pausing occasionally she allows me to get just close enough to make it interesting before bolting. Call after her sing-song with promises of treats to come. Like most women I know she can smell the desperation behind the words and chooses to ignore me. Three blocks we do this, through backyard and front lawn alike. Overprotective hounds wail at our approach. Driveways light up with motion sensors. Windows part. Faces cautious and curious peek out before vanishing. Nothing to see here, just a half naked white man wondering all over the neighborhood on a cold December night. At one point she rounds a corner in a trot and though only a few moments jog behind, I lose her.

Shit-fire and panic.

"Firecracker!" I yell.

More dogs bark. More window peeps.

"Firecracker..." I plead.

I know Vee. I'm either coming home with that cat or I'm coming home on my shield.

Finally found the little bitch darling just when I was ready to give up and head home to a night on the couch if I was lucky. Correction. She found me. Standing there letting the elements shiver their way into my bones, I heard a familiar chirping growl. Turned around. There she was sitting on the front hood of somebody's car, watching me with that look of aristocratic aplomb that only goth chicks, theatre folks and felines can pull off with effortless dignity. Apparently she had grown bored of the chase and was waiting on me to find her. She hopped of the hood and approached me. I just stood there betraying not a single breath. When she started to rub against my legs I swooped her up in a blur.

Later as I carried her back to the house she liberally clawed at my arms while trying to squirm free. When I got inside, with wrists carved up like a suicidal teenager who had too little Prozac and too much Joy Division on thier hands, Vee ran up to me and took the cat from my arms, cooing to her - "Oh, my poor little girl..."

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate cats sometimes?

Comments

[catwalk.livejournal.com]

cats, amirite?

i mean, i have nothing to add to this most explicit depiction of feline dominance...

other than... LOL! :-D

[jackbabalon23.livejournal.com]

Well I'm always glad to get a laugh out of any situation I might find myself embroiled in.