![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jack_babalonThe Internet's been on and off the last few days here in Exile. A Com*Cast repair man came by and a few hours later it was resolved that the problem was on their end. They'd try to do something about in three-to-five business days. It sucks, but what're you gonna do?
So, with the net briefly active, I hop on, log on and crack open the window to smoke a cigarette. A few minutes pass before something blurs under my eye and lands on my hand. A big ass preying mantis. Jumped back and screamed. I have a 'thing' about insects. In short they freak me out big time. The mantis takes off in flight and starts buzzing around the room. The mantis' flight catches Firecracker the Cat's attention. Firecracker, being Vee's loyal familiar and the house's resident 'monster catcher'), wastes no time in chasing the 'little guy' around the room. Me, I'm doing my best to not panic. Slow breaths. Clear the mind. Don't react on panic. Don't kill something just because it startled you and you have an irrational phobia of insects. Breathe.
But while I'm breathing, Firecracker is an orange fireball of pounce and leap, bounding off the mattress, catching the mantis across the wing and felling it to the floor. The fireball slows down back into cat form and Firecracker hovers over the creature as it struggles to get back on its legs.
Inches away from being 'bonus protein' in Firecracker's belly, I snatch her up and away from the mantis. With the goddamn quickness, I swivel on the window and yank it all the way open keeping a struggling cat cradled under the arm.
"You don't understand!" Firecracker hisses and squirms, "Must kill! Intruder! Kill before escapes!"
"Yes, honey, I know..."
"Release me! Now! Before too late!"
"No, honey."
"Hate you!"
"I know, honey..." and the mantis limps into flight from the hardwood floor, buzzes around drunkenly and sputters towards a zig-zag landing across the chair. At least it's blended in against the surface and isn't but a yard's glide to relative freedom.
Distracted, Firecracker escapes and hits the floor in one of her cat-ninjitsu killing stances. From this position she can launch or sling forward, depending on whether the monster is an elusive UFO (a red laser pointer) or a glitter snake (Christmas tinsel). I give nature a few minutes to work out the obvious - the open window of freedom before the wounded mantis, the murderous kitten of death below. The mantis says 'fuck fight or flight' and decides it's gonna stay right where it is.
Figuring then to speed up things a bit, I retrieve from the kitchen a clear plastic tupperware bowl and try to scoop the mantis up with it. Almost get the bastard too but it ricocheted out of there in a panic, made straight for my face and then Firecracker was back in the game leaping up off the bed to swat it in mid air.
More wild kingdom shenanigans ensue.
Hectic dance of hunter and prey. Firecracker pogo hopping around at the fluttering mantis that dodges both the cat and my clumsy efforts to clap it into the bowl. Finally the thing manages to dodge us long enough to take cover behind a row of our shoes and boots.
Minutes pass with Firecracker keeping vigil.
"Should've killed it, earlier!" she glances over at me and stares coldly, "Stupid, Ape-Thing!"
I finally calm down enough to log these words down. At the moment Firecracker has grown bored with the hunt and is instead fixated on the trespass of a moth that has traveled into our room during my efforts to shepherd a preying mantis.
Aren't preying mantis' supposed to be good luck. I mean, y'know, not to stereotype mantis'...
Alright, back to our regular scheduled blog...
So, with the net briefly active, I hop on, log on and crack open the window to smoke a cigarette. A few minutes pass before something blurs under my eye and lands on my hand. A big ass preying mantis. Jumped back and screamed. I have a 'thing' about insects. In short they freak me out big time. The mantis takes off in flight and starts buzzing around the room. The mantis' flight catches Firecracker the Cat's attention. Firecracker, being Vee's loyal familiar and the house's resident 'monster catcher'), wastes no time in chasing the 'little guy' around the room. Me, I'm doing my best to not panic. Slow breaths. Clear the mind. Don't react on panic. Don't kill something just because it startled you and you have an irrational phobia of insects. Breathe.
But while I'm breathing, Firecracker is an orange fireball of pounce and leap, bounding off the mattress, catching the mantis across the wing and felling it to the floor. The fireball slows down back into cat form and Firecracker hovers over the creature as it struggles to get back on its legs.
Inches away from being 'bonus protein' in Firecracker's belly, I snatch her up and away from the mantis. With the goddamn quickness, I swivel on the window and yank it all the way open keeping a struggling cat cradled under the arm.
"You don't understand!" Firecracker hisses and squirms, "Must kill! Intruder! Kill before escapes!"
"Yes, honey, I know..."
"Release me! Now! Before too late!"
"No, honey."
"Hate you!"
"I know, honey..." and the mantis limps into flight from the hardwood floor, buzzes around drunkenly and sputters towards a zig-zag landing across the chair. At least it's blended in against the surface and isn't but a yard's glide to relative freedom.
Distracted, Firecracker escapes and hits the floor in one of her cat-ninjitsu killing stances. From this position she can launch or sling forward, depending on whether the monster is an elusive UFO (a red laser pointer) or a glitter snake (Christmas tinsel). I give nature a few minutes to work out the obvious - the open window of freedom before the wounded mantis, the murderous kitten of death below. The mantis says 'fuck fight or flight' and decides it's gonna stay right where it is.
Figuring then to speed up things a bit, I retrieve from the kitchen a clear plastic tupperware bowl and try to scoop the mantis up with it. Almost get the bastard too but it ricocheted out of there in a panic, made straight for my face and then Firecracker was back in the game leaping up off the bed to swat it in mid air.
More wild kingdom shenanigans ensue.
Hectic dance of hunter and prey. Firecracker pogo hopping around at the fluttering mantis that dodges both the cat and my clumsy efforts to clap it into the bowl. Finally the thing manages to dodge us long enough to take cover behind a row of our shoes and boots.
Minutes pass with Firecracker keeping vigil.
"Should've killed it, earlier!" she glances over at me and stares coldly, "Stupid, Ape-Thing!"
I finally calm down enough to log these words down. At the moment Firecracker has grown bored with the hunt and is instead fixated on the trespass of a moth that has traveled into our room during my efforts to shepherd a preying mantis.
Aren't preying mantis' supposed to be good luck. I mean, y'know, not to stereotype mantis'...
Alright, back to our regular scheduled blog...
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
on 2010-08-28 05:03 am (UTC)